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Teen Poetry #3
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Le chomage
| Teen Poetry #3 |
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Le chomage |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
funds dwindle gas prices soar… et moi, je n'ai pas de travaille. out of work, but still won't take the low jobs. cuz my pride pulls me down, and sucks away my blood, completment sans l'argent Je suis fichu don't know what to do totally broke this ain't no joke et moi, je suis besoin d'un offert d'emploi je vous ampri, cuz tout m'argent just escapes me |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Jose~~~I dont really understand this one...What is with the spanish then english...Are you translating it for us with the poem???Ohh and I just seen the post you put for the translation of the other one...Keep up the good work!!!  YoU cAn CoMpLaIn CuZ rOsEs HaVe ThOrNs Or ReJoIcE cUz ThOrNs HaVe RoSeS |
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Jacman Member
since 2000-06-27
Posts 291Dwight Il, US |
Jose I got about 88 percent of this one. Whats wrong with working at Burger King or something. I did it for two years and was even a manager when I was 17. OK so it still sucked, but you got to do what you can to survive and get around. I love the way you made the French ryme(sp?) with the english. Interesting indeed. jason  P.S. Oh by the way Erin; its French.  Just as soon as I belong, then it's time I disapear... -Metallica- |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Thanks Jason!!! Well sorry Jose about the inconvience...I thought it was spanish... Can anybody tell I only speak english??? < !signature--> ~*YoU cAn CoMpLaIn CuZ rOsEs HaVe ThOrNs Or ReJoIcE cUz ThOrNs HaVe RoSeS*~ [This message has been edited by ERIN (edited 09-07-2000).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked the poem. See i know all 3 languages (spanish, english, and french).....but i would never write a poem in any language other than english. I like how you do not have the limit that i voluntarily apply to myself. Keep it up jose, me gusto bastante. La belleza de su poema me dio inspiracion para escribir una poema en francais o espanol. A mi no me importa, pero ahora quiero escribir una poema en algun lenguaje que no seas ingles. Chekiamos loco. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hey jose, just for you to take note cuz i forgot to correct you earlier: In your last stanza: et moi, j'ai besoin d'une offre d'emploi je vous ampri, parce que tout mon argent just escapes me OK that is the correct way to put what you said in the last stanza in accordance to proper french grammar. I changed the "CUZ" to "Parce que"....just in case. And if you'd like the translation of "just escapes me" in french is : c'a m'échappe. ok thats just so you know, only for the well being of the poem. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
Erin~ Don't worry about it too much, happens all the time Jacman~ thanx, I'm glad you noticed that I wrote tried to make the french rhyme with the english, It was hard to do It took me almost 3 days to do this I worked at Micky D's for 15 months of my life. It seriously depleted my soul. If fact, I think that I would rather by drawn and quartered for political crimes. here are some reasons why I would sooner starve than repeat the experience 1: angry screaming ghetto customers who are are in truth are only angry because of the low place in society that life has assigned them to. In addition, their kids are constantly deamnding "hook-ups" not asking, but demanding. If you don't consantly risk your job so these loosers can eat a free meal every other day, then you're "fake," they curse and scream, and theaten to beat you down when your shift is over. 2: the knowlege that your mind could be better put to use elsewhere, more appreciated by society, and with a bigger paycheck is a special kind of torment, which grows more painfull the longer you work there. 3: working next to the educated class of the world. they may just be "dirty immgrants," to the everybody else, but they are people too. In fact, their hard work makes our level of luxury possible. In addition, many of them have attended colleges in their own coutries (one of my coworkers even had a master's degree), yet the fact that they don't speak english, (and occasionally, arrived illegally) confines them to such jobs, furthermore the fact that many of them are aware that the US has certain laws ensures that they end up working 12 or 16 hour shifts. 4: wouded pride: the idea of being an employee of a company that in addition to expoiting these immigrant workers like that, also routinely voilates health laws, is rather difficult for me to bear. In conclusion, It is far better to have empty pockets than an empty soul. Dopey~ I try to apply as few limits as possible, I'm trying hard to get good at this poetry thing fast. I've only been writing poetry since June. I like it a lot. I found that always trying to expand your abilities is the best way to do that. I would love to see you post poetry in other languges, i think that you're a great writer. about the last line, I did that on purpose so that it would rhyme, but originally I had written it as "tout m'argent vient de m'échapper," (all of my money just escaped me) Thanx for all of your replies! |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
Nice one Jose!! I loved! I didn't get all of it for the simple fact that lil Jessica is only Bilingual. hehehe. At any rate, it sounded awesome when I readt it out loud, although I'm sure I butchered the pronunciation of plenty of the words. Thanks for sharing!!Hope to see more! < !signature-->Love Always ~*~Jessica~*~  If aLl My FrIeNdS JuMpEd OfF a BrIdGe, I WoUlDn'T JuMp WiTH ThEm BeCaUsE I'd Be At ThE bOtToM tO CaTcH ThEm. [This message has been edited by StarPryncess17 (edited 09-08-2000).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Jose thats cool. I was tryin to help just in case. Well I been writing ...well i started in 7th grade and only wrote about Football hahaha...stopped for 2yrs....and then continued in 9th grade and havent stopped. Now im a senior in highschool with some college life experience and....yea....tri-lengualed......just trying to use what i know to help. Loved the message of the poem. Keep writin bud! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
Pryncess Jesica~don't worry too much, Be glad that you are bilingual, some people are not even that. Most people in this country only speak one language. Dopey~ what kind of college experience do you have? By the time I graduated HS, I had plenty of college experience.(I got to start college almost as a sophmore) |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
Ok, full English version, it doesn't sound as good, but Here goes: UNEMPLOYMENT: Funds dwindle, gasprices soar, and me, I don't have a job out of work but still won't take the low jobs cuz my pride pulls me down and sucks my blood. Completely without money I'm screwed don't know what to do, totally broke this ain't no joke and me, I'm in need of a job offer please I'm begging cuz all my money, just escapes me. |
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Jose Marti Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 374washing DC |
I posted the full english version, and I wanted some people to see it, although it does not feel as intense without the French. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I liked it better with the French (I can understand enough of it up there ), but it's still great. |
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!!! Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137VA (U.S.A) |
This poem captures that kind of life really well, i must say. Me personally, i feel that if you start off at consumer service jobs (as i foolishly call them) you get a feel for what people are like in general, and how to work with certain types, and such. Anyway, good poem, keep up the good work. |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Jose~~~With what you said about working at McDonald's...I worked at Burger King for 8 months and was it hell...Just like you said there were ghetto customers that demand being "hooked up"...And it was like go get a job...LOL I am happy to see that you translated it into english...Oh and sorry about that mistake!!! ~*If I was to die & could be 1 thing I would be a tear born in your eyes live on your cheeks and die on your lips*~ |
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