navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » Temptations
Teen Poetry #3
Post A Reply Post New Topic Temptations Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Misty Blue
Junior Member
since 2000-05-24
Posts 44


0 posted 2000-08-30 05:00 PM


Temptations


What is it?
That makes me wanna see your face
What is it?
That makes me long for your embrace
What is it?
That makes you leave without a trace
What is it?
That makes you wanna touch me
What is it?
That makes you wanna hold me
What is it?
That makes you wanna kiss me
What is it?
That keeps us apart
What is it?
That begs you to stay
What is it?
That wants you here today

© Copyright 2000 Misty Blue - All Rights Reserved
Deranger
Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there
1 posted 2000-08-30 05:24 PM


I’m afraid I don’t have the answer to your question.  But if I did, would you really want to hear it?  Knowledge may be tempting, but often times ignorance is truly bliss.  

Good work. Lalalala



----------------------
Spreading insanity, one post at a time

“Writing about darkness comes easily for me. I just close my eyes and write what I

Pimpin Poet
New Member
since 2000-08-28
Posts 5

2 posted 2000-08-30 05:32 PM


That was really good. if it's about somebody you should let them know wassup. No I aint sayin me. Keep on writin ya word.

                          One Luv,
                             Pimpin Poet

Pimpin Poet
New Member
since 2000-08-28
Posts 5

3 posted 2000-08-30 05:32 PM


That was really good. if it's about somebody you should let them know wassup. No I aint sayin me. Keep on writin ya word.

                          One Luv,
                             Pimpin Poet

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2000-08-30 06:21 PM


the thing about this poem is this: First your like saying that you dont know what it is that makes YOU want this person and why he/she disappears bla blabla...but then you're like .....what is it that makes YOU wanna kiss me?"....... so the person wants YOU aswell.....so i dont understand why you can't be together.....why he/she dissapears...explain.
Erin
Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527
~Chicago~
5 posted 2000-08-30 07:25 PM


Misty~~~I agree with Dopey...First you are saying something is tempting you to want this person...And how temptation made him leave without a trace...And then it made you want him back...I dont know I think that you should have put "that makes you leave without a trace" more towards the end where you put "that wants you here today"...But anyways it was pretty good to me!!!

~*~TrUe LoVe Is ThE cLoSeSt ThInG tO hEaVen~*~


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #3 » Temptations

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary