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Dark Poetry #2

IN your hand to sand

Jeremiah Johnson
Senior Member

since 2000-06-08

Posts 1223
Brooksville, Fl, U.S

0 posted 2000-07-05 01:18 AM

You toy with my heart
     In your
      Hand
And i feel you slowly
    Squeezing
Turning it to sand.

I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson-

Hardrock
Senior Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA

1 posted 2000-07-05 01:31 AM

Such a fragile heart....and such a nice poem. Well done, Jeremiah. Hardrock

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

2 posted 2000-07-05 01:37 AM

What is this one about? Jeremiah?

lotharingia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-04

Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany

3 posted 2000-07-05 03:39 AM

It's about emotional abuse and how that can leave a once loving person dry inside, is it not. I think it is anyway. This one is excellent, Jeremiah, one of my favs (again!

)

Lotharingia
"For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?"
Tom Holland

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

4 posted 2000-07-05 12:40 PM

So succint, and sad. You have such deep thoughts and feelings. Great poem.
Catalinamoon

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

5 posted 2000-07-05 07:34 PM

You will become a famous writer if you already are not my friend.

Yu Lan
Senior Member

since 2000-04-13

Posts 1462
New Zealand

6 posted 2000-07-06 02:59 AM

phew... I like this Jeremiah.. ^_^
Yeah, short, sweet.. and bloody effective.. highighting the fragility of dear things in life.. toying... yeah.. a game.. an unfortunate game..

Well done Jeremiah, your way with words is touching..

Lynne

"He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu

qtpieelmo
Senior Member

since 2000-07-04

Posts 989
Sesame Street :) hee hee ,NY

7 posted 2000-07-07 06:22 PM

wow so much power behind so few words luved it

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

8 posted 2000-07-08 02:36 AM

as always im impressed by the way you describe indescribable feelings in such concrete terms..."Turning it to sand"...powerful last line

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