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Open Poetry #9
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2000-08-04 10:43 AM


This was initially a post in response to Brian's thought provoking poem "A melodrama of life and death" in Dark Passions and he had asked me to post it as a new thread in the Open forums... so here it is... Thanks Brian for the inspiration...

A necessary foreword:
I am in not trying to highlight the act of suicide or it's tendencies. I abhor the idea of suicide in itself... What I am trying to project is the feeling of desperation in the character's mind, poisoned by society and inhuman treatment.

Moderators,
If you feel that this should be deleted, please feel free to do so... just drop me a mail, and I will understand. On the other hand, if this should be placed under Dark Passions forum, please move this.

Thanks in advance and I am sorry if any trouble is caused because of this.

regards,
sudhir.
-----------------------------------
[there was a poem here will be put back after the moderators have a look and say okay... thanks for the consideration]
---------------------------




[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 08-04-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
1 posted 2000-08-07 05:24 AM


[The poem has been okayed by our friendly moderators and now I am in a position to share this with you.
My foreword stays firm... Thanks in advance for reading...]
------------------------
A poor man dies each night

The callous embezzler
of the poor man's funds,
The hooded snake is masked
this day as a tax collector.
The poor man suffers in
silent acceptance, throws
himself upon the park bench
that cold heartless night.

Tomorrow is another day.

The masked one
is now the law's long hands;
The chameleon -
He kicks the poor man
resting upon the bench,
With a rude jolt from his
Heavy military shoes
for sleeping on "public" property.

With a twisted tongue,
The slithering lizard screams
"They've paid taxes
for the park and paid royalty
for the colour on the bench.
And you wastrel, you wretch,
you scumbag, you good for nothing
you sleep on it, how dare you!
Scoot. Find some dark corner
to get rid of your filth."

Life - What else do you wish to show?
Life - Where else do you want to lead?
Life - Is this what you call a centre stage?
Life - Are you in anyway better than death?

The poor man who until
yesterday was a good man
is now a scumbag, a wastrel -
a dog without a bone.

There are better people in this world.

He left the park
accepting the decree
of the law of the land
and found in dimness,
a spot at the corner
of the red windowed shops,
where dark human garbage
and wasted junkies mingled.

A brawny full-bodied youngster,
Having just spent his bestiality
Waded across the dirt,
Saw this man shivering in rags.
"Let me give the dog a bone"
said the young mind and
threw him a dime and offered
his pity for that puny dime.

And he expected a 'Thank You' note.

Death - Why are you late to come today?
Death - Why don't you just blow me away?
Death - Could you just drop the curtains?
Death - Would you please end this life's drama?

A rich man dies once.
A poor man does so each night!

~


[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 08-07-2000).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2000-08-07 06:58 AM


Interesting thoughts...If your life is a continual hardship do you wake up in the morning with desire?  If you lose hope are you already half dead?  James
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
3 posted 2000-08-07 08:12 AM


James,
Thanks for coming in on this one...
I am gld that you found the thoughts interesting...

My regards,
sudhir

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
4 posted 2000-08-07 09:12 AM


Interesting thoughts indeed......nicely written and thank you for the forward....I would have worried about you otherwise.   some thoughts.....be that the poor man struggles and society cast him down, is it not easier for any little ray of hope to give more to him than if the tides were reversed and cast upon the rich man?  The rich man has come to expect certain things and when dealt a blow is he not the one most likely to succumb?  The trick is to always have some hope even if it is only a miniscule of such and we all can give this just by acknowledging the importance of everyone we come across....just a simple smile and hello will do most of the time....I am rambling.....sorry....your post got me going......I have more thoughts deeper into this if you are interested e-mail me......nicely written
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

5 posted 2000-08-07 09:58 AM


yes the forward adds to this, but the feelings are portrayed very well, the desperation is and can be overwhelming, and you wrote it well  
Corazon
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209

6 posted 2000-08-07 09:58 AM


yes the forward adds to this, but the feelings are portrayed very well, the desperation is and can be overwhelming, and you wrote it well  
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
7 posted 2000-08-07 11:00 AM


Mark,
Thanks for coming in... I am glad to have provoked your thoughts... maybe that was the aim of this piece    

Corazon,
Thanks a bunch for reading and responding...

regards to you both,
sudhir

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
8 posted 2000-08-07 11:31 AM


In a way I agree with Mark, that a rich man would be unable to take lifes adversities...but that doesnt make it any easier or any more right that the poor of this world have to go on being poor. Not all poor people are that way because they arent willing or able to work. If circumstances were different it could be them in the fancy house, driving the fancy cars.Thats why we MUST give every child the education they deserve...no child is any more deserving than another and if just ONE rich person would be willing to pay for another child to be educated...i am ranting LOL

never say never

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
9 posted 2000-08-07 12:35 PM


WOW paula, thats just one more way of thought added as a process in my head...
Thanks for coming in...

Many regards,
sudhir

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
10 posted 2000-08-07 01:26 PM


Sudhir, thank you for the credit and I may even one day finish that poem but now the main focus is upon your poem.

I am so glad that you posted this in open. Having the opportunity to read it again I am able see the poem more clearly and it sends shivers down my spine, things that grazed on first read now cut deep. This is a very powerful piece of writing.

It makes me want to deliver a speech on equality for all humanity but I will spare myself and everyone else from stating the obvious. For I am a hypocrite, I see the homeless and turn away. I pity them then forget. It is the easier option. I hope that the machine of finical and government will address the problem because I am powerless but to follow their lead. I could continue my speech to save myself from action. Sudhir your words crawl deep under my skin and make me weigh my life and my actions. This is the power of a great poet.


"To the centre of the
city where all roads
meet, waiting for you,To the depths of the ocean where all hopes sank,
searching for you," Joy divison

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
11 posted 2000-08-08 03:54 AM


Brian,
power of a great poet... thats a bit too high for me to touch...

All I can say is Thank You...

regards,
sudhir

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
12 posted 2000-08-08 04:48 AM


Sudhir,

     This is a fine poem and a much needed look at what despair can do to people. No one is beyond the reach of it's cold hard grip. In all probablility, everyday someone we know wakes up searching for a reason to face another day. Your words may help those who have never known such utter despair to better understand those who have.
Best wishes,
Jamie

btw- did you get my email?




Jamie

Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil.
"Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely".



Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
13 posted 2000-08-08 07:56 AM


Jamie,
Thanks for the most wonderful compliment...
and yes I recd your lovely e-mail as well... and replied too...

regards,
sudhir

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2000-08-08 06:17 PM


Sudhir---When any person, whether rich or poor, is deprived of hope, then dignity dies and without these a life can be so sad.  Far worse, however, are the people who use their own power to hurt...they are more to be pitied because they have no heart.  Thanks for the thoughtful provoking verse.
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
15 posted 2000-08-09 06:05 AM


Martie,
Thanks for reading and for your wise words...

regards,
sudhir

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
16 posted 2000-08-09 06:30 AM


Sudhir I have become accustomed to your great writing and I enjoy your talent so much. You are very kind to others and that's not hard to notice at all.
This is a real hornet's nest of a discussion and as always when one gets into that kind of thing there are ideas leaning both ways.
Some of these street poeple are hopeless and homeless and I realize that they need help and they don't need the long arm of the law abusing them. However, there are many of them that are there for other reasons, reasons brought on by themselves and when offered help they abuse the hand that reaches out to help them. I am no expert and that is for sure but I have seen both sides of the story and know this is a well played game by some.
I read Grisham's "The Street Lawyer" and that is pro what you are saying in your work here.
Beyond that there are those that use this form of cultivating pity for themselves to avoid the common responsibilities that life demands from most of us.
Just one small point, can you imagine the world as we know it today with out some form of law enforcement. However, I am against any form of abuse at anybody's habds.
This is a great write you have posted and it does expose a tremendous problem which needs to be addressed. Let's hope it gets addressed the right way....I would'nt want to see anyone forced to take their own life in such a state of depression...I just happen to know of a case where the homeless person took the life of the person that was tryin to help them......as in all things in life there is some beware! involved.

Your poet friend ..ethome..  

ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

17 posted 2000-08-09 10:38 AM


playing catch up, Sudhir ... this is a telling piece ... true insight into one on the brink and a lesson in humility ... well done ...

My calling before me, let quill be my offering;
For to be called poet, no greater gift to receive.

M.A.



Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
18 posted 2000-08-09 11:06 AM


ethome,
my friend, how wonderful it feels to hear your views on the subject... Thanks a lot...

MA,
Thanks for coming by...

regards,
sudhir

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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #9 » A poor man dies each night... (Posted on Brian's Request)

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