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Open Poetry #6
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For what were worth
| Open Poetry #6 |
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For what were worth |
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Brent Hotchkin Junior Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 42Florida,USA |
Follow the path through the mountains and trees. It is there where solitude sets you free. Come closer, walk deeper into my cave. Where nievity and conformity no longer enslave. The freedom long lost, and so seldom found. In this social structure once thought so profound. It is once apon a time, and happily ever after. That drives my soul into this pessamistic laughter. Although education sheads some light on a brighter day. My soul still cries carry me far, far away. How wise are you your knowledge is in vaine. If you don't heed your souls warning. Why play this rotted game. Arrogance violence and peace are the three main choices as for a direction of this earht. It is which one we choose. That shows how much we're worth. We only know that which we see and hear. We seem to be ruled by hatred and fear. We are driven by our vices and not by our souls. Some of us awaken by the time we've grown old. By then it's too late to make a change. Our lives too possessed to rearange. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Brent Hotchkin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Excellent sentiments here!  |
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Brent Hotchkin Junior Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 42Florida,USA |
Thank you for the comment Devine. I think this one is a flop. And it's only my second post. Maybe I should keep some of them to myself. I dont know what I was feeling when I wrote this one. It was one of those that you dont make an effort to write. One of those that just pop into you head and you happen to have your pen and journal at hand. well thanks again. I will post another one maybe more happy this time. |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
I don't see this as a flop, dear Brent! It is packed full of deep thoughts and ideas...Personally, I could see the beauty in it, because it shows the wheels turning within your mind...your heart. You did well, putting it on paper, and making it rhyme. That's the hard part. Your opening line stole my heart...beautiful sir. (actually the first 2 lines)  Thank you for sharing...Back to the top for more to read and enjoy! |
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CMGrimm Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685USA |
I've said this before but I think worth repeating a poem that comes from deep in your heart always has some kind of meaning. (Well..I tried.) LOL "We are driven by our vices and not by our souls." I think it was well worth the time it took to post here and share with us Brent...never feel like anything you do is not good enough... Chris Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions. - ANON. |
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Brent Hotchkin Junior Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 42Florida,USA |
Thank you FemmeFatale. I was rather proud of it after I finnished it last week. Then I showed it to my 1102 Professor. and she was left blank. after a 50 sec. pause she said "I like the title, and it's very, whats the word overbearing" I was not to incouraged by her critique. I guess thats why I was so quick to call it a flop. I am glad you liked it Femme. Thanks Chris I try not to feel discouraged but insignifigance enthrawls me. It is nothing new though It's my daily battle. I have won more than I have lost. Cant ask for more than that. Thanks again You guys. |
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Brent Hotchkin Junior Member
since 2000-02-15
Posts 42Florida,USA |
Hello all. I put this one in critical analysis and got a comment about my spelling. I thought that would be a good example of not conforming. I thought "earth" was the best clue towards my symbolism. Anyway Just thought I would explain myself |
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