The Hunter And The Hunted--free verse--

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Mystykyl
Junior Member

since 2000-02-28

Posts 32

0 posted 2000-02-29 02:40 PM

An eagle swoops down upon its prey. Farther and farther down, closer and closer the eagle gets. There is something moving. It is trying to find something to eat for its family. It doesn't realize the eagle is coming. No time to run, no time to hide. Closer and closer the eagle gets. It's to late. The prey is gone. Higher and higher the eagle flies. His tallons are grasping the prey tightly. The prey is a mouse. The mouse, not yet dead, tries to get out. Moving, squirming, trying to get free. If the mouse gets free while the eagle is flying, he goes down, falling far below to his death on the forrest floor. If he stays right where he is, the eagle will kill him and feed him to his family. There is no where to run. There is no where to hide. No matter what, the mouse is dead. And the eagle will no longer be hungry. If the mouse falls out of the tight grasping tallons, then the eagle will swoop down after it later to eat and feed his family. WAIT! Are those gun shots I hear? Faster and higher the eagle flies. Are the shots meant for him or something else? If they are meant for the eagle, will he out run the shots? Will he live? Or will he die? The eagle finds a place to land and hide far up in the trees. The mouse is free to run. The shots are getting closer and closer. Should he run? Should he hide? The eagle is scared. He freezes. No time to run, no time to hide. The eagle is thinking, wondering. Were the shots meant for him or something else? Silence falls. Is the shooting over? No. There are seven more shots. Finally! The eagle is free to move. He starts to fly to his nest. His young are hungry. They are chirping loudly. There is no food to feed the young with. Are they really safe? Is this how life is every day? The mouse is safe at home under the floor of the forrest by a tree. Was the mouse lucky? Was the eagle lucky? Both were almost killed. They both have to kill to feed their young. What is next? Who is next? Are you the hunter? Or are you the hunted?

rich-pa
Member

since 2000-02-07

Posts 317
New Orleans, Louisiana

1 posted 2000-02-29 05:37 PM

ignoring the content, the piece itself is not a poem, it is undoubtedly in prose form, i think that if you revamped and broke it down with some line breaks you would have a very excellent piece of free verse, but as it stands it is prose. i liked the content, it was good.
rich-pa

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

2 posted 2000-02-29 09:50 PM

I moved a copy of this to prose as it has the 'look' of a short story. If it's free verse, perhaps this format would be best..

An eagle swoops down upon its prey.
Farther and farther down,
closer and closer the eagle gets.
There is something moving.
It is trying to find something to eat for its family.
It doesn't realize the eagle is coming.
No time to run,
no time to hide.
Closer and closer the eagle gets.
It's to late.
The prey is gone.
Higher and higher the eagle flies.
His tallons are grasping the prey tightly. The prey is a mouse.
The mouse, not yet dead,
tries to get out.
Moving,
squirming,
trying to get free.
If the mouse gets free while the eagle is flying,
he goes down,
falling far below to his death on the forrest floor.
If he stays right where he is,
the eagle will kill him
and feed him to his family.
There is no where to run.
There is no where to hide.
No matter what, the mouse is dead.
And the eagle will no longer be hungry.
If the mouse falls out
of the tight grasping tallons,
then the eagle will swoop down after it later to eat and feed his family.
WAIT!
Are those gun shots I hear?
Faster and higher the eagle flies.
Are the shots meant for him
or something else?
If they are meant for the eagle,
will he out run the shots?
Will he live?
Or will he die?
The eagle finds a place to land and hide
far up in the trees.
The mouse is free to run.
The shots are getting closer and closer.
Should he run?
Should he hide?
The eagle is scared.
He freezes.
No time to run,
no time to hide.
The eagle is thinking,
wondering.
Were the shots meant for him
or something else?
Silence falls.
Is the shooting over?
No.
There are seven more shots.
Finally!
The eagle is free to move.
He starts to fly to his nest.
His young are hungry.
They are chirping loudly.
There is no food to feed the young with.
Are they really safe?
Is this how life is every day?
The mouse is safe at home
under the floor of the forrest by a tree.
Was the mouse lucky?
Was the eagle lucky?
Both were almost killed.
They both have to kill to feed their young. What is next?
Who is next?
Are you the hunter?
Or are you the hunted?

I don't know if you like this format better but it works better than the 'prose form'..Just my humble opinion..

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

3 posted 2000-02-29 10:36 PM

Captivating tale! I enjoyed this very much!

Denise

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.