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My Sweety
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My Sweety |
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William P Bussey Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 188 |
YES, BUT I STILL LOVE HER The neighbors got a Dalmation pup, he said, Really, what color is it? she asked without raising her head. He didn't amswer for a moment, he had been here before, That was his sweety, creating more family lore. I can't believe you said that, he looked at her in wonder, He was again amazed at her verbal blunder. She looked at him for a minute, then began to giggle, I don't know what you mean, she said, walking away with a wiggle. Then there was the night she so seriously said, Now this is the truth, here's what came from her head. We were watching Charlie Daniels play his fiddle on tv, I think his stick is to short, she says to me. It was a winters night on I 44, And my sweety was leaning on the car door. She was looking up into the clear night sky, Now I know she had that look in her eye, For she said to me in a voice that makes your head turn around, Oh look honey, the moon, it's round. |
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| © Copyright 2000 William P Bussey - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Little_Spyro Senior Member
since 2000-01-09
Posts 659San Diego, CA, USA |
Great poem! I like this!  It's very 'well-rounded' and, well, 'color'ful!  Hope to see more like this!  Little Spyro T. Dragon |
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Sasikat Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 290St. Petersburg, FL |
I really enjoyed this. Sounds like you really love your sweety. Keep posting. Sheila |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
hehehehe.....this is hillarious!!  Denise |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
HAHAHAHA I LOVED THIS SWEET SILLY POEM. I had to laugh at myself as I was reading..you describe ME to a tee...I'm LEFT handed...I cant help it ...lol this was really good Welcome to the Pub, take care, janet marie She says baby, It's 3am I must be lonely, When she says baby, Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes, Says the rains gonna wash away I believe it. Matchbox20 I love you baby... always.* |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
undoubtedly, without a doubt, hilarious, i dig it yo, my only problem is that teh last stanza breaks the form of the poem because it has to many lines, you should try to cut it down to 4 like the rest and use the same rhyme scheme to keep it sructured |
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William P Bussey Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 188 |
Yes Rich I agree, but it was just a silly play thing, and I couldn't fix it. Thanks.... Bill |
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rich-pa Member
since 2000-02-07
Posts 317New Orleans, Louisiana |
c'est la vie |
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