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Invisible
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Invisible |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697
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Every morning, when I get up, I look in my mirror. No, it’s not because I’m vain; it’s to make sure I’m not invisible. Yes, I know that seems strange, but I need this reassurance before I start my day. After I see that I’m still visible, I get ready and go to school. I sit on the bus, with people all around me, but no one says a word... I think back to the morning... I’m not invisible, so what is it? When I get to school, I go to my locker. There is a happy couple there, enjoying each other’s company. I ask them to move, but they don’t move until right before the bell rings. I open my locker, and look in the little mirror I keep in there. I saw myself looking back... strange... I sit all though class, doing work and turning it in… without anyone taking notice. After the bell rings, I go out into the crowded hallway. I push my way though, so I won’t be late for class… but no one notices. My entire school day is like this. But, every time I look in my mirror, or at anything that gives a reflection, I see myself looking back at me. So, how can I be invisible? I get off the bus and walk into my house. My parents aren’t home, they never are. They don’t even offer a phone call to see if I’m ok. It’s like… they don’t have a child at all... The day is warm, so I decide to sit outside and do my homework. Then I see HIM... he skates by with some of his friends. I drop my book and stare at him, but he doesn’t notice at all. Couldn’t he just smile and say hello to this girl who lives just to see him? Doesn’t he care that my heart bleeds for him, that my thoughts are always about him? Or... maybe he doesn’t see that... I run inside and look in my mirror. There I am, with my messy brown hair and my tear-filled blue eyes. I want to run though the town and scream "I’M HERE! I’M ALIVE! DON’T YOU NOTICE? DON’T YOU CARE? I’M NOT INVISIBLE! WHAT IS IT THAT’S SO HORRIBLE ABOUT ME???? WHY DO YOU IGNORE ME???? WHY?????" I want my parents to know I’m still alive, I want the people at my school to notice me, and I just wish that HE would smile or wave just one time. But I guess that will never happen... never. I eye a knife nearby. What would happen if... nothing. Nothing would happen. No one would notice. No one would care. Who mourns for what is invisible? "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" |
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| © Copyright 2000 Erica N. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Love Bug: Simple yet powerful. It was a bittersweet piece to read. I sometimes felt this way in high school, but I promise you that it gets better. Hopefully in writing this, it has helped you to heal yourself. "who mourns for what is invisible?" really hit me, excellent line. Believe me, you are not invivisble, to me anyways, you have a talent and I wish you the best. Take care, Melissa Honeybee  |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Ahh, another one of us invisible people that only show up on the other side of mirrors. Great piece Lovebug. We all know you exist, and would miss you |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I was like this at one point in my life. Invisible to most and an object or ridicule for others. when I hit highschool all of that changed. I took control of my life and my attitude. I was the one to smile and wave to others. I was the one to say hello and express caring for those who were upset. This caused others to see me and talk to me and smile at me. I know there are groups and separations in highschool and there were when I went as well. The popular crowd and the druggies, the brainers and the nerds. I would smile and talk to all of them and guess what, I was more popular in school then the popular ones. Don't let any barriers detour you, don't let the peer structure stop you from being a caring person. always be yourself and enjoy your life and good things will happen. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Ok... sometimes I hate doing this, because it might be construed as "demeaning your work," but believe me, that's not the case. I want to point you in the direction of two books which revolve around a woman who feels "invisible." They're titled Mirror of Her Dreams, and A Man Walks Through. It's a two parter, by Steven R. Donaldson. This piece reminded me of those books as son as I started reading. Perhaps you might be interested!!! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I think a lot of us feel this way at some point. You expressed that feeling nicely.  |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Thanks for the nice comments, everyone! Christopher, if you are implying that I have copied the ideas of the books you listed, this is not the case. This piece isn't fiction, it's taken from my life. If that isn't what you are implying, I'm apologize. "To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Lovebug, I think you copied this idea out of my teenage diary. It seemed that you were talking about me, for that's exactly how I felt (except for the knife) and still feel many times. I feel unnoticed. You capture that feel by having to check in the mirror to make sure you're still there. I could relate well to this piece (especially the part about the boys) and I'm sure many others will also. I'm so proud of your talents. I told you I would try to post in response to your posts and you have inspired me to try prose, but my prose sounds more like a high school composition. I'd better stick to poetry and learn that first. Grat job Love Liz |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
I know. |
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