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Letter of Cleansing
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Letter of Cleansing |
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Terrina Kethryveris Member
since 1999-12-06
Posts 53USA 
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When I first meet you I never looked into your eyes, now I sit here and I wonder why. If I had looked into those eyes would I have seen the truth? Would I have seen that you could never care for me, that you just wanted some sort of toy to play with? Now that I think about it, I never looked into your eyes. Maybe I was afraid that I would see what I already knew to be true in some odd way. But still I can’t understand what did I do to deserve what you have given me? I was the fool, me, I kept coming back for more when in truth I should have turned and walked out the door a long time ago. I guess this was a lesson I had to learn. I had to be taught the pain of love before I could experience the pleasure, was that it? Because you sure never gave me pleasure, all I have ever gotten form you is pain. You are such a little boy! You treat me like a toy, your own little human yo-yo that you can throw out and pull back again whenever you please. Well what you haven’t realized is that with every throw the string by which you hold me gets a little weaker. It frays and it is finally to the point of breakage. This is the last time, I feel you throwing me away again. This time I won’t come back, when the string reaches its end this time it will break and I’ll be gone. One day you might realize what you could have had with me and you may want me back, but let me assure you that I will not play this game again. I have learned my lesson well and I will teach what I have learned to those who will listen. They say you don’t know what you have till it’s gone, just like they say you can’t get back what you’ve lost. Well love these are sayings you will learn all to well. You ask me how I am so sure of myself when I say these things to you. Well let me tell you, there is one more saying I’d like to remind you of it goes like this; you reap what you sow or to put it simply what goes around comes around and it comes around ten fold. So I hope you’re as strong as you seem to think you are, because you will need the strength that you don’t seem to think I posses to make it through that time. Through this all I still love you, you have never physically hurt me. And in some strange way I feel that I should thank you, because you have taught me that I am strong and that I can make it through anything. And so I leave with this kiss and I hope no hard feelings pass between us, I would like to keep it friendly. Though that doesn’t mean I want to be your friend, simply that I prefer not to hold a screaming match with you now or ever. As I walk away from you I look back over my shoulder at the look upon your face and I laugh to myself as I watch this all sink in. You are finally realizing that I am gone for good and that there is nothing you can do about it. And I have realized the strength, which I held inside for so long. I was afraid to leave you, afraid that no one else would want me but oh how wrong I was. Out this door and into the arms of love, that is where I am headed. Though it may take me a while to get there I will find love someday I know that now. Look closely and you might see my spirit flying free in the midnight sky dancing with the moonbeams and playing with the stars. Truth be known, fantasy is much more appealing than reality. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Terrina Kethryveris - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Deep Blue Me Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 396By a big lake |
May your gods bless you on this, a most important journey of heart. I wish you peace. DB |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
A journey through hurt and pain and finally the anger helps you in your time of greatest need. I really liked the way you wrote "I would like to keep it friendly, but that doesn't mean I want to be your friend. I have experienced that. At first I did want to be friends but now I don't want to ever see her again. That reminds me of a line in the movie Guinevere when she was requested to come and see her past lover before he passed away she said "two years ago I couldn't have come, or even three years ago." Four years had passed before she could face the emotional and mental pain and put it aside to visit her long ago lover once again. Concerning the quest for Love. I knew that the relationship I was in was not love and so I felt that surely the next would be love, but I am still searching. It seems like you don't always get what you want. I am hoping. Anyway, thats all about me...and now I am hoping that you find Love and happiness. James |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Without pain, there is no beauty to experience. You seem to have suffered yours, so perhaps some beauty is muchly deserved! |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
You know...I feel sort of cleansed after reading this myself...thank you. "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
this is a letter that a lot of us need to write, and it shows a lot of strenghth in writing it. good job. |
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