»
Main Forums
»
Passions in Prose
»
Oblivion
| Passions in Prose |
|
Oblivion |
|
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration 
|
I wasn't entirely sure where to post this. It is somewhat in poetic form, but it is really long as poems usually go. So I put it in here. If this isn't the appropriate place DE, please let me know, and I can re-post it elsewhere. (It's not a "bad" one!)  OBLIVION By Christopher I sit and stare. Stare at the absence of life in mine love's eyes. She rests the sleep eternal. Sleeps always, to wake only in my dreams. -She left me for Oblivion- Oblivion. A mistress I cannot combat. A foe I cannot fight. A losing battle. A campaign of loss. Loss of hope and dreams. A lover whose touch is more intimate than mine could ever be. -She left me for Oblivion- Who could bear to remain behind? The rest of me is no longer here. I am less. Yet desire remains, never to leave. Who would yearn to live thusly? -She left me for Oblivion- And as she lies there, forever still, I wonder. What might have been? What would we have become, joined soul, muscle and thew? Where would we have traveled, these winding roads before us? How would we have loved, gloriously, intimately, completely? Why does it have to be so? Why did she leave so suddenly? -She left me for Oblivion- Is Death so compelling then, that none may refuse him? Is his request undeniable? Absolute? Is it necessary? Is it forever? Yes. Yes to all and everything. -She left me for Oblivion- Her choice to leave. By her own traitorous hand. What have I done to drive her away so? A Shakespearian play being relived. Am I supposed to join her then? Complete the last act? No! I will not follow her path to eternity, until mine own time has come! I will fight the grim reaper that has taken the life of my love. Life. Love. Death! -She left me for Oblivion- Avaunt shade! You shall find no more to harvest here! Begone! I shall no longer brook your presence! Leave me. Leave me alone with my love and my misery! -She left me for Oblivion- Why are you here still? Why have you not left yet? Have I not told you that you shall find no more here? Do you think me so weak then? Shall I too succumb to nothingness? An ineffectual eternity? -She left me for Oblivion- What is that you say to me now? No pain? No fear? No tears? No loss? In truth? Is that what Oblivion offers? Why remain then? What is left to inspire me to live? Loneliness you say? Yes, loneliness, to be in the complete seclusion of nothingness, forever. And yet I am lonely here as well. -She left me for Oblivion- Then I shall join her not in the pit of despair. She is lost to me for eternity and a day. She is lost forever then? Why then should I depart from the realm of my reality with you? Begone! Please. -She left me for Oblivion- Oh, you remain. Am I so desirable then? My soul such a large prize? Or is it the challenge of this game of yours? I wish to live! I wish to retrieve my lost love! You ask why? Is it not clear with all that I have spoken here? I love her! I need her! I miss her! -She left me for Oblivion- Lonely. Have compassion, oh specter of the night! Why do you torment me so? Torture me with promises of peace? Haunt my heart no more! I beg you. She is gone still. It is a betrayal to our love! No, I cannot believe that. She is gone. Why? -She left me for Oblivion- Lonely? Yes spirit, I am lonely. Even now, I long for the caress of her hand. Soft and smooth, loving. Now cold. I long for the sound of her laughter. Bright and promising, caring. Now silenced. I long for the smell of her perfume. Sweet and seductive, compelling. Now stale. -She left me for Oblivion- Damaged. I will never be the same as I was. Death, you are here yet. Why? I ask again, why? Today is no more, and tomorrow is yet to come. The past remains the same, and is immutable. It cannot change, can it? -She left me for Oblivion- Can it? Will you allow me to rewrite what has gone before? Change what is now over? Permit me to revive my lost love? May I aid in her return to my world? Her, full of life and love! And yet, why? Would it happen again? Would she only leave once more? Return to hands more pliant than mine? -She left me for Oblivion- Indeed. Are you indeed a more virulent lover than I? Are you strong, seductive, more loving than I? Will you care for her as I, with all the power of your heart? Or is it something else? Is your domineering stranglehold a farce? Do you seek to deceive me? Do you attempt to appease my grief with promises of comfort? -She left me for Oblivion- Who am I that you toy with me so? Why do you hurt me, crumble my heart in a grip of despair? Fill my eyes with a waterfall of tears, shed for my missing love? Is it something I see not? A reason beyond my understanding? Is it me? Is it her? -She left me for Oblivion- Is it me, then? Am I a faction that must be reckoned with? Do you fear me? Do you fear what I may now become, spurred on by this heinous act? Am I a driving force against your reign of terror? Or am I merely a pastime? You took her! -She left me for Oblivion- Me? Antithesis. Yes! The opposite of you is what I now am! Who the hell are we? Do you know? Yes, I see that you do. I see something else in the emptiness of your eyes. I see fear dancing there, fleeting, yet present. True, as you remind me again, she is gone. -She left me for Oblivion- Why do you seek to distract me, oh bringer of misfortune and pain? I see you now for what you truly are! I know you now, do you know me? Did you know her? Was she the same as I? Or was she only a miscalculated catalyst? An unintentional spark that lit a flame that burns you? -She left me for Oblivion- I am not there, Death! I am here! Before you! Look upon me! Weep, oh demon, face me and weep. A challenge! I challenge your existence! Because I now know! You have no power over me! You once held sway over her and I, but no more! No more! -She left me for Oblivion- Oh sweet love! I see the truth of your sacrifice now. I understand your seeming madness now. I still grieve for what we will never be. Yet, I rejoice in what will now become! I have arrived! I am here! I am now! I love you and you will always be in my heart! -She left me for Oblivion- Oh sweet, sweet love! Death! I have not forgotten you. Yes! It is now! I am now! No! I will hold my hand no longer against you. It is your time to be embraced in the arms of Oblivion! Your turn to be taken away into the insanity of perpetual loneliness. Yes, oh yes! Try! Struggle! I will enjoy it. Savor it as an angler savors the first catch of the day, squirming on the hook. Struggle. Struggle as my love must have struggled! -She left me for Oblivion- Welcome it filthy spirit. It should be a close friend to you by now. Go! Follow the countless souls you so callously stole. Follow them to the home you made for them. A home in a sea of nothingness. An endless fog of lost desires and ever present loneliness. Is there truly no pain there? Ha! Then why do you fear your demise so? But wait, hold. Death, a favor. Say hello to my love. Say hello, for she now knows your visage. -She left me for Oblivion- Go now, merciless Death. It is your time to die. And I am the instrument of your demise. I am Nowhere Man. I am Everywhere Man. I am the conductor for your symphony of destruction. I know now who I am, and why she is gone. -She left me for Oblivion- No! Oblivion was a means to an end for her, for us. Or the means to an eternity. I understand now! She left me so that I would gain the power. With her death she opened a portal to my soul. Our love created! The power over the specter of Death! The power to join Death and Oblivion into one. To make one of them no more, and to keep the other at bay. She did not leave me for the caress of Oblivion. She did not willingly become the mistress of the big empty. She left to create me as I am now. -Silence- You cease in your struggles, oh spirit of Death. Why? Have you accepted you fate then? Accepted as I've written it? Very well, I have seen you suffer, even as I did. I have no stomach to see you tortured any longer. I end it now. No more shall you wander free. No more shall you steal that which is not yours. No more shall you live. No more. -Never again- Goodbye, oh he who names himself Death. And goodbye to you as well, my love. I shall miss you. I miss you even now. -Chaos- They are gone. I am now truly alone. Alone. Is it different from what Oblivion promised to be? Yes. I still live. I still love. I still feel. I still am. -Power- There is no longer an end to any life. I give the benefits of my power freely. To one. To all. To any who desire it. It is a grand thing that has come about. A thing to praise and wonder at. Glorious! And yet, my love is still gone. Oblivion retains it's cruel grip on her soul. I have her body here before me, so cold. Dead. It is an empty vessel, devoid of it's soul. It is nothing without her life to animate it. -Lonely- Life. Wait... Life! If I hold the power of life in me, then... Yes! Or maybe no. But... Does this power indeed make me a god? The God? How am I to know? -Confusion- How? I have the power of life, not omnipotence. Then no. I am not the God, nor even a minor one. I am only power. Then... Yes! A god I am not, but I am still the power. I am a talisman of bright promise! A forecoming of greater things to come. A messenger of good tidings. A saddened patriot of freedom and dreams. Is it truly possible? Can I? What have I to lose? I can only try, for as of now, she is still gone. -Hope springs eternal- Love! Hear me! Listen to my call! Return! Come to me, whole once again! I employ my power to bring you back! Awake my darling. Sleep no longer. Dream no more, the promises of a deceitful Death. Return! -She has returned from Oblivion, for me- To me! In my arms! Alive! Oh love, these are tears of joy I cry! For you are with me once again! You have returned from afar! A long journey for we two. A difficult trek that has now ended. I am once again whole. We are one, you and I. Eternity is ours! -Triumphant- Yes my sweet, all is right. Can I explain? Then you have forgotten. No, love, I will explain later. For now, I only long to hold you. In my arms. Tight. Never to let you go. -Oh my dearest love- I apologize for your confusion. I know you do not remember. I will tell you only that it was a great loss. One I was forced to face alone. Hold me. Kiss me. Love me. -Ecstasy- What's that my darling? What noise? Yes love, I heard it as well. Does someone dare interrupt our private reunion? -Anger boils- Who? Who dares? Death. -Surprise- How is it that you are here, Death? This is no place for you to be. It is a place only for life and love. I did not call you here. I called only my love, she whom I hold in my arms even now. No! You are mistaken, I bade not your return. Depart! Return to your private Oblivion. Enjoy the madness of your solitude. Suffer in the chaos that is eternity. -Disbelief- Oh my love, how can this be? What was, has now been undone. No my love, I cannot explain what is occurring here. I can say only that it should not be. But fear not, for I shall soon remedy it. You are still here specter? Very well. My love, light of my heart, I speak to you now. Leave us. Go away from this place of horror and death. Go, and await my return. -Tears- Go please, love! I will converse with Death only a short while, then send him away. For I am now the power of life. A power Death cannot defeat! Go love, I will soon follow. I promise. I love you! -Yet more tears fall- Alas, she is gone. I fear not her departure though. She no longer sleeps the eternal sleep, she is alive! And yet I miss her already. I feel less, now that she is no longer here at my side. Be that as it may. Now to you, oh vile persona of murder. I wish to question you. There are things I do not understand, and I wish to know. But wait! Why do you wear that face? Can it truly be that you no longer fear me? Should you not be cowering before me, even as you stand here? -Confusion reigns- I have the power! I defy you still, Death! I am power! I caused your banishment, and caused her return. I am power supreme! -A deep breath- Yet you still display no outer sign of fear. Why? Inanity? Where is the meaning in that. A description of me, or of you? Will you tell me? No? -Choice of decisions- So be it. Then return now. I go to join my newly revived love. I miss her already. -Oppressive silence- What? How? You are still here! -Stirrings of fear- Yet, we have been here before. It is De Ja Vu. I require you to depart and you insist on remaining. Forget not that I was victorious over you. It will be the same now. Go! Leave! I command it to be so! Depart! Avaunt! Please. No! You must leave! -Despair- You must! There is no purpose for your existence anymore. All is well in the world. Peace reigns supreme. Life lasts forever. Happiness is eternal. Love blooms anew with the rise of each day! Go, please, I implore you. I have only just regained my lost love. She awaits, and I have no desire to linger here. -Desperation ensues- In this new world I have created, there is no more fear. And yet I find myself afraid. Of you. Of death. Of darkness. Of Oblivion. Afraid. Is that it then? Is renewed love so short lived? Do me wrong. -Oppressive depression- I understand now. I understand too late, I fear. I was aware of no restrictions of my power. Why then have the power? Why be the power? Why then, and be unable to reclaim that which I desire most? To reclaim that which enabled the power? Very well. It shall be so. -Abject acceptance- It is unjust though. And yet, I can see you do not cater to the ideals of justice. I accept your return to power then. I have no choice. I yield. Game point to you, demon. -A quiet pause- And yet... I implore you, oh heartless spirit. For the sake of a mercy which you surely do not feel. Take me. Allow my love her life. Her return is too soon, and she deserves more from me than failure. And though she may mourn me, she can still love. -A cascade of salty tears- She will remember me. And in her memories, I will still live. I will be in her heart. I love her. She loves me. -Understanding begins to dawn- For we are one. I see that now. I believed I understood everything, yet truly knew nothing. Yes, we are one. We three. You. Me. Her. -Dawn breaks on the horizon- It is an unnatural trinity. Being of death, you. Of life, me. And of love, her. All are the same. We are all the same. The same. Inextricably linked, one to the other, to the other. Without Love, Life would have no meaning. Without Life, Death would be useless. Without Death, Life would be too easy. Without Love, Death's grip would be painless. -Ponder the insanity- Where then is the meaning? Why must Life and Love come to an end? For Love and Life could survive without Death. All they require is each other. Nirvana! Eternity would then be a paradise of realized dreams. No longer the playground of nightmares. Love would sustain Life, and Life in turn would sustain Love. Oh my love, lend me your strength! -A prayer is directed to a mortal heart- Please, again, leave. I see that while we are one, we can also exist apart. Separate from you. Together, me. Life. And her. Love. Forever in bliss. And you still remain. -A deep sigh of resignation- Then take me. You must, it would hurt too much to lose her again. I could not bear it a second time. I would be compelled to follow her, into the downward spiral of Oblivion. I cannot live without her. This also, I can see now. This and many other things. More and more with each passing moment. Now! It is all clear! I have no more of your deceit clouding my mind. -Painful loss of perception- You tell me to trust you. I can't trust you, you lie. And yet I have no other options. You are now once again the power. In my ignorance, I failed to set things right. The inevitable has occurred. I failed. And yes, you have won. -Black, blind, indignant rage- No! No! No! I shall not go quietly into the night! I shall not creep like a mouse! I will not cower before you. I have no more power. But I still exist! I exist, and do not need to succumb to your seductions. Lies. Satan is not the master of deception. It is you! You who are not true. -A sneer is formed, contempt rises- You are nothing without your illusions. You are only a half formed idea, shrouded in decay. You wear your cowl as a badge of honor. It is nothing more than a cover over a vast emptiness. You wield your scythe as an instrument of terror and death. It is nothing more than a crutch for a charlatan. -Sunlight peeks through a window- Oh yes, vermin of Oblivion. Anger has purified me. In my rage, all has become clear. Once I knew some, then I knew more, now I know all! I see now the facade you so cleverly prepared. The veil you draped over my thoughts. I see clearly now, and it is not too late! Ah, I see you begin to cower once again. Lean on your crutch you invalid. Beg! Beg, for once more, I have the power. Once more, I am the power. -Blazing white light pierces the air- See you, shade? Already I push back the impinging darkness. Light prevails! You are less now, for my love and I are with you no more. We deny you. A trinity dissolved. Now, only Life and Love. Death has no purpose other than pain. You are Death. You have no purpose. Begone, never return. This is no place for you. -A white concussion- -Silence- Alas. It is done. I have won. We have won. Love. Life. Love and Life survive. Forever. Eternal. Never to end. -A memory tugs- Now I understand everything. I never lost the power. I have always been the power. It cannot be taken from me, it is me. It was merely an intricate illusion. Permitted to happen only because of the emotions of our reunion. A time I had no other thoughts but for her. -Oh my love- It was always there. And yet Death almost won. Where would the line have been drawn? How close did it come? -A sigh- It matters not now. Life and Love eternal. My love, I come to you. I have battled our foe, and emerged victorious. Victory! At last. Once again I am united with my love. -A look back over a shoulder- Farewell, oh specter of death. I pity you for the being you could have been. A shame you were only an unfinished halfling. A combination of chaos and order, imperfectly formed. Rest easy in your corner of Oblivion. I'm sure you share a special kinship with each other. You and Oblivion. Farewell Death, I leave you for the final time. I leave you for my love. It is she who left me for Oblivion. It is she who returned from Oblivion for me. It is she who lent me her heart, and allowed my power. Allowed me to send you to Oblivion. Forever. Eternal. Never to end. -Footsteps- I come my love. |
||
| © Copyright 1999 C.G. Ward - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Beautiful!!!!! Love the way it flows - need to read it over again before I can give you my authoritative opinion(heheh) and start an argument! What does 'thew' mean? I really like this Chris. |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Kind of a poetic description for "muscle." It usually implies more than the physical aspect though, hinting at a person's will or soul. I think. This is how I've intrpreted it in context, as I've never found it in one of my dictionaries. |
||
|
Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I've had a chance to read it properly. What a battle! Interesting theory you hold about love, life and death. Oblivion seems to be quite passive and death is always a player. Is that because oblivion is akin to nothingness? Can you explain to me how you got the power to defeat death in simple terms? - I just want to be sure I really understand it!!! This is really good, Chris, you pick up the momentum and the last few lines are quite creepy actually! |
||
|
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Yes, Oblivion is akin to nothingness (although the definition can vary, depending on which dictionary you pick up.) And what would be worse than eternal nothingness. A person would be dead without any external stimulation in under a week ( I think that's the time span,) and you could imagine that it would be the true hell, were you subjegated to it. As to defeating death in such simple terms, well, the "power" was more implied, rather than directly stated. In a way, I likened the power to defeat death, to the power that is spawned when two hearts are joined as one. If the power of one person's will, or heart, can have such an impact on the world- for examples, look up anybody who's struggle to make a change in the world- then imagine the power of two joined as one. I used this story as a possible analogy, to hint at the possibilities we can achieve, (the power over death) if we can cease our witless bickering, and stop fighting over who stays on "top" and join our hearts/wills/minds together. With all the wondrous things we have accomplished technologically, imagine what would be possible, if we were to join together, and look inside ourselves! ------------------ A philosopher is a dead poet and a dying theologian. -Roger Zelazny- [This message has been edited by Christopher (edited 09-01-99).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||