»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
who spilled sex in the bathroom?
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
who spilled sex in the bathroom? |
|
|
karneliann Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 44Baltimore, MD, USA |
who spilled sex in the bathroom? I was minding my own brooding over the sterility of my place of business desiccated by ultraviolet ultraviolence, whatever they happen to hit you with windowless taupe and tin so I enter the bathroom secure myself in and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a radiant goddess serene smile glinting off disinfected tile beckoning my limp little jaw with a crook of her luminous finger amazed, I advance but at some point during my infinite journey she melted and in the place where she shone I almost slipped in her puddle of extraterrestrial plasm that still gave the bathroom a little glow of daylight. I went back to my desk rejuvenated. ------------------ "My empire is of the imagingation." -- She |
||
| © Copyright 1999 karneliann - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
ewwww... is this poem about what i think it's about? do guys really do that kind of thing during the day? at the office???? did you go outside for a cigarette afterwards? lol [This message has been edited by jenni (edited 11-12-1999).] |
||
|
Vers Librist Junior Member
since 1999-11-10
Posts 16 |
Very interesting, but I'm with jenni on this one--what a mental picture! |
||
|
karneliann Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 44Baltimore, MD, USA |
okay, don't panic. it's not a true story or anything. i just thought the topic was thought-provoking. and it doesn't necessarily have to be taken literally. the point of the poem is that something disrupted the sterility of the office environment, which, personally, drives me crazy. and if it takes visions and sex to do that, then so be it. it's difficult for me to explain, but i think it's interesting. it's a meeting of two dramatically different worlds. this probably doesn't help at all, but it's okay. i don't mind if you think i'm a perv. i just think about weird stuff, i guess. ------------------ "My empire is of the imagingation." -- She |
||
|
hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
What kind of critic is interesting? At this point, that's about all I can say. I did like the imagery you used in this piece though. |
||
|
Vers Librist Junior Member
since 1999-11-10
Posts 16 |
I don't think you're a "perv." I see your point about mixing two different worlds. I like it better now. |
||
|
Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
*g* I like it, I think he did a really good job, that he made us see without actually saying the "words" is what makes it good  |
||
|
Lolita Junior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 44Buffalo, NY, America |
I do tik you are a "perv", but it takes one to know one and I can't see anything wrong with it myself. Liked the imagery. |
||
|
Lolita Junior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 44Buffalo, NY, America |
I do think you are a "perv", but it takes one to know one and I can't see anything wrong with it myself. Liked the imagery. |
||
|
karneliann Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 44Baltimore, MD, USA |
you know what cracks me up? you all think i'm a boy, but did it occur to you that perhaps i am a girl? i personally think it's not terribly important, but the fact that everyone refers to me as "he" is very interesting. maybe we are conditioned to believe that only boys think about things like this. i guess that makes me even more of a perv, eh? cuz it's certainly not "ladylike"! ------------------ "My empire is of the imagination." -- She |
||
|
Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
sure but the reader is going by your poem, and the first indication is that a "goddess" tempted you, unless you the author give indication as different, then the majority would see you as a male....doesn't have anything to do with that only males think this way. I am a female and take an orgasmic break in my day now and then...hey no perv here, just think I deserve the pleasure. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||