A Quiet Recontemplation of Macbeth's Famous Soliloquy, Act Something or other, Scene

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Ryan
Member

since 1999-06-10

Posts 297
Kansas

0 posted 2000-06-06 10:21 PM

A Quiet Recontemplation of Macbeth's Famous Soliloquy, Act Something or other, Scene I Dunno

Yes, well, maybe the
title is a bit long
and presumptuous,

but someone once said
that the world is a sad,
sad place when the sun
is going down
(well, they said something like that).

We're all ghosts in this world,
wandering, lost dogs without a home,
ready for

sleep (real sleep).

Sometimes, on top of a mountain,
dancing in ecstasy next to a cold stream,
there's happiness

but it's fleeting
(someone said that once also).

Sometimes I have to touch myself
to remember that I'm here and real
and not a figment of someone
else's imagination
(no, the other way around, actually).

Yes, the world is a sad,
sad place and my title is
a little long and unnecessary,
and my thoughts are slightly disjointed,

but I'm sure someone said that once also
(even though I imagined him).< !signature-->

I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac

[This message has been edited by Ryan (edited 06-06-2000).]

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

1 posted 2000-06-07 09:11 PM

I get more of a Hamlet feel to this one than Macbeth (always liked the wife better anyway).

I this this almost works but you need some kind of a punch at the end. Except for the 'disjointed' ('time out of joint'), I feel you kind of lost some steam here.

Anyway, I enjoyed most of it.

Brad

X Angel
Senior Member

since 1999-11-07

Posts 1521
Oregon

2 posted 2000-06-07 11:56 PM

Hehehe I liked the introspective touch to this, but yes I agree with Brad that it slowed down at the end...intentional?
I like humour in poetry, whether it be blatant or dry...cuz life is too darned short to be serious all the time....one of my newly discovered things about myself is just that....I am FAR too serious, FAR too much of the time.
Anyhoo Ryan, I thought this was a nice medieval jaunt!
Thanks

~Heather

Tim Gouldthorp
Member

since 2000-01-03

Posts 170

3 posted 2000-06-08 12:09 PM

I agree with Brad's comment about needing a punchy finishing line. I liked the general idea of the poem.

Ryan
Member

since 1999-06-10

Posts 297
Kansas

4 posted 2000-06-08 12:45 PM

Brad -- MacBeth simply b/c I thought of his little speech where he talked about how we're all just actors on a big stage and we just play our parts, and one of my stanzas (the one about how we're all ghosts in the world) seemed to sort of relate to that in a vague way.  Other than that, there aren't really any Shakespearean thoughts in the poem.  I just have a thing for long titles like that with little obvious relationship to the poem.  I think the title even came before the poem was actually fully conceived.

}X{Angel}X{ -- I remember you from the Scroll.  Remember me?  Or maybe my other, more criminal side?  *grins*  And yes, humor is good.  I'm often accused of being the exact opposite.  Not serious enough too much of the time.  I'd say that this is more of a dry (maybe cynical) sort of observational humor.  Hmmm, I don't even know what that means.  Well, it is way too late.

Tim (and everyone, I guess) -- Concerning the ending, well, I guess life, and emotions (which is what this poem is), don't always have a wham-bam-jam ending.  Sometimes it just sort of lets off leaving you down there.

Okay, I think I'm too tired and rambling, so in short, thanks for the replies, and maybe one day a new, better ending will come to me.  See you all later.

Ryan

I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac

X Angel
Senior Member

since 1999-11-07

Posts 1521
Oregon

5 posted 2000-06-08 12:47 PM

omg the scroll! hehehe
did you go by Ryan there?
*looking all confused*

~H

Ryan
Member

since 1999-06-10

Posts 297
Kansas

6 posted 2000-06-08 09:09 AM

lol...yep, still go by Ryan there, actually. But occassionally me and my partner in crime pop up out of nowhere to have a little fun (and to tease others with our infinite knowledge *grins*). See ya around, numero trois.

Ryan

I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.
—Jack Kerouac

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.