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mister61
Junior Member

since 1999-08-12

Posts 41
bergen county, nj

0 posted 1999-08-12 02:34 PM

In your eyes
I see the past
Pain and puzzle
Tears and torment

In your smile
I see a light
That splits the dark
A breathtaking beacon

In your voice
Angels crying
Beauty abused
A silent symphony

In your touch
I feel the fear
Longing to let go
Clutching compassion

In your arms
Reaching and wrenching
For tomorrow's hope
With bygone betrayals

In your heart
Love everlasting
Pure in its pleasure
Aglow in its goodness

In your soul
I see a place
Of sweetness and grace
And welcoming warmth

In you alone
I see the years
Unfolding and flowering
With love everlasting

In all these things
I see one life
Two puzzles together
A portrait complete

JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

1 posted 1999-08-12 02:36 PM

simply wonderful.

------------------
Dum spiro, spero
JP

mister61
Junior Member

since 1999-08-12

Posts 41
bergen county, nj

2 posted 1999-08-15 04:41 PM

Thanks for the note!

M. Rivera
Junior Member

since 1999-07-22

Posts 13
San Francisco

3 posted 1999-08-18 03:34 PM

Is this one about your girlfriend of when you first met her, and how afraid she was to open up at first with you because of her past?

mister61
Junior Member

since 1999-08-12

Posts 41
bergen county, nj

4 posted 1999-08-18 05:32 PM

Sort of. It's also about being afraid of reaching for something you want because of things you're still not over from the past. That's hard for me to do, too.

juanita
Member

since 1999-08-13

Posts 68
Los Angeles, CA, USA

5 posted 1999-08-18 09:59 PM

MISTER61, your poem is very beautiful,
you must be a very gentle man.
I'm glad you are loving and trusting again!

Robin2
New Member

since 1999-08-17

Posts 5
UK

6 posted 1999-08-20 05:16 AM

Very nice.
I particularly like the return to 'puzzle' in the last stanza and how you then extend it into a two way thing. Excellent.

Robin

Skyfyre
Senior Member

since 1999-08-15

Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap

7 posted 1999-08-20 08:10 PM

Line 16 ... I like the alliteration ...

This has a nice rhythm to it ... sounds like a string of meandering thoughts, never focusing on one feature of your feelings too long ... well done.

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(When I hear the bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")

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