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Open Poetry #49
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Warrior Princess 1
| Open Poetry #49 |
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Warrior Princess 1 |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
When I sit alone and close my eyes I see the dreadful day The day my parents were ripped away The day before things as always Their laughter their kisses As I watched filling my heart With love and pride in who they were Who I was And where I came from Then they came from it seemed nowhere Giant sized horses with Giant sized Men Monsters maybe for their faces were scary And swords were long The screaming was so loud from the village it scared me My mother hid me, told me not to come out my father Kissed me and I could see the love and fear in his eyes I could see my mother’s feet from where I was, hiding Nothing but clashing of steel and blood cries My father was a great warrior but even I As a child but 4 or 5 knew there were to many I heard a sound from my father like the breath leaving him I will never forget how quickly after that my mother falling Facing me in my hidden spot She blinked and almost smiled and the blood ran from her body Onto my bare feet Something welled up inside me Strength not of muscle but of spirit I came out of hiding no longer frightened And there stood a man, a monster, a beast I lifted my head and looked him in the eyes Never taking my eyes off of his I walk to my father’s sword He didn’t move, didn’t make a sound, as if waiting in shock at my boldness I couldn’t lift the sword I had to drag it with all my might Slipping in my father’s blood but never letting go of either The stare or the sword As I stared at the beast he smiled And said, “Well little warrior princess I see we shall meet again. And I spare you because I look forward to the day that the fearless child Becomes a women filled with such strength, passion and skill. I am sure I will tales of you coming long before you find me.” When he left, when they all left, I did not feel relief For I knew from that moment on my life had changed My purpose had changed Now as I open my eyes… I am marking,remembering where my journey now begins. |
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| © Copyright 2014 Connie McDonald - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Bluesy Socrateaser Member Elite
since 2002-11-07
Posts 2417In The Mirror |
An intriguing read, full of insights, death and the promises of vengeance. I especially liked this line: quote: ...just bein' Bluesy |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
enjoyed...James |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
This certainly has the wow factor, Connie. I was enthralled the whole way through. Something tells me that this metaphor is based on something that really did happen, though possibly condensed in time. Just 2 small things: 'women' should be 'woman' and I think you left out 'hear' (or a word to that effect) in 'I am sure I will tales of you coming long before you find me' If you want to edit those things, you won't be able to do it yourself as the 24-hour window has closed, but a moderator will do it for you with pleasure. Whilst (if the facts behind this, are, indeed, non-fictional) I am sorry that you have lost your parents, I am glad you had such wonderful ones. The pain of the loss is equal to the gift of them. However, I am sure you carry them and their legacy in your heart always. Owl |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
Thank You!!! and Owl I did miss the hear word and my woman .... You were right on there... This is all complete fiction... I listen to different types of music and a story will pop in my mind ... I don't double check my work often due to "first thought right" lol I will mess it all up ... so often in my work you will see a mistake or left out word  Thank You |
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OwlSA Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347Durban, South Africa |
I am delighted that this is based on fiction, Connie, and that you haven't lost your parents! And you certainly didn't mess up this magnificent poem at all! It is stunning. Owl |
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