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Open Poetry #47
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Dog Farts (Weapons of Mass Distruction)
| Open Poetry #47 |
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Dog Farts (Weapons of Mass Distruction) |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Intestinal distress Her gut’s a churnin’ Poisonous gas And my nose’s a burnin’ I know it’s true Cuz her tail’s a waggin’ With a look of guilt My throat’s a gaggin’ Can’t take it no more The aroma she’s sharin’ Headin’ for the door With my eyes a burnin’ Is this man’s best friend? More like a K-9 cabal Packin’ a weapon of mass D She's Saddam’s hidden arsenal "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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| © Copyright 2011 Andrew Scott - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
lmao  I can't believe this is here. "Dog Farts" has been the theme of the week for me lately--we changed our Fred's diet to that science diet stuff, and he actually farts like a ten year old boy now. Deadly, eh? Loved this, and I think I once touched on the subject as well, as my beloved, belated yellow lab Annie was sooooooooo nasty she'd embarrass herself--we called her "The Green Fog Dog."  Thanks again for the smile. |
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JerryPat Senior Member
since 2010-10-30
Posts 1991Louisiana/America |
Uug. Snort. Whew! Pooey. Whoa! Sumtin' musta crawled up in there and died! ~ Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. ~ |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Man's best friend must smell just like him, I mean what else would make sense. Maybe you should have called it Weapons Of Gas Destruction. Take care now and stay upwind of the mutt. I loved this little poem. Eric the assured expectation of things hoped for, the evident demonstration of reality though not beheld |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
can't be much worse than skunk juice...but yeah I never like giving Spike those boiled eggs |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Serenity: “Better out than in I always say” Shrek said it best. Ya, changing that diet can be hazardous to your health… good for the dog, but your nose is going to pay the price. Ha! Green Fog Dog… that’s a good one. The things we call our pets. Jerry: I’ve often wondered that myself. Ethome: I guess it’s good that my wife can’t smell. For real… had a head injury years ago and knocked that smeller right out of business. Unfortunately, it’s our daughters that must suffer the effects. Dad and dog can make for a fairly foul fragrance.Passing Shadows: Yep, skunk juice is pretty bad. Five times and counting for our dog. You’d think she’d have learned about them funny looking cats with the white stripe by now. "We'll chase them like rats across the tundra." |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
don't know if you saw this somewhere back there in archive land... Why Dogs Chase Skunks Why does he keep doing it? He knows he'll have to stay outside then face my vinegar concoction and there's nowhere to hide he's going to get a bath for sure! You'd think he'd learn after just once, yet there he goes into the woods again to come back smelling like defensive skunks. Guess I know why people want to know why I keep on drinking... it's the nature of the beast- born and bred with no thinking about the consequence of stinking... but it's fun while it lasts, at the very least. |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
OMG that is just so funny, and you know why, it is so dang true!  Cut out any human food and it will get better at least.  |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
I can't help it, farts are funny whatever the source. Loved this poem! Lori |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
All these years and I've never understood why no one has written about dog farts....and now you have! No wonder they call you SIR Andrew!! It stinks...well done! |
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The_Doctors_Angel_32 Member
since 2011-01-14
Posts 337Florida, USA |
LMAO You haven't smelt nothing bad until you smell a cat pass gas. LOL They can be just as bad as a dog. This poem had me rollin'. When the family is together, the soul is at peace - Russian Proverb |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Andy, and they look at you with a "did you do that?" look..way cool stuff!! |
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