navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #47 » Tall and Slender
Open Poetry #47
Post A Reply Post New Topic Tall and Slender Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A

0 posted 2011-07-22 04:55 PM


So tall and slender

yet not so tender

heart has seen him through

pain, tears,

solemn years,

eyes have been renewed.


Rebel band worn proudly

crown of thorns so heavy

past his prime yet so fine

life's boot, taught trueth

eyes have been renewed.


He seeks out brothers

to show him other

ways of coping strife

life, love,

work, wheels,

eyes have been renewed.


[This message has been edited by Michael (07-22-2011 06:08 PM).]

© Copyright 2011 E. M. L. - All Rights Reserved
ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
1 posted 2011-07-22 04:58 PM


Sorry about the error. It should say "band " rather than ban.
Thank you,
Ebonygirl

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
2 posted 2011-07-22 06:12 PM


I enjoyed the imagery of this piece.  

"Rebel band worn proudly

crown of thorns so heavy"

For reasons of my own I suppose those lines stuck out for me.  Kind of reminded me of my father, though his eyes were never renewed.  

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
3 posted 2011-07-22 09:52 PM


I see that you are starting to fit right in, Edna. Enjoyed this.
                                 Ida

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
4 posted 2011-07-23 02:53 AM


I like this very much indeed, ebonygirl.  Your poem gives me a respect for this man that makes the tears well up in my eyes.  It is good and rewarding to learn from the lessons life offers.

Owl

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
5 posted 2011-07-23 06:42 AM


ms ebony...a pleasure to view him through your eyes...your pen brings him new ink...like  traveling tattoos..
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
6 posted 2011-07-23 08:43 AM


Life has many lessons, if only we reach out to them and understand. It seems this man has. Good work, ebonygirl.

~ Eggs and bacon, honeymoon style / What's honeymoon style? / Straight up and hard. ~

ebonygirl
Member Elite
since 2011-07-14
Posts 2000
California U.S.A
7 posted 2011-07-23 05:44 PM


Dear Ida, OwlSA, Michael, JerryPat2 and Dark,

Thank you for taking the time to read my poem.
Your comments, I take to heart and respect.
Thank you,
Ebonygirl

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #47 » Tall and Slender

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary