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ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

0 posted 2011-07-22 04:55 PM

So tall and slender

yet not so tender

heart has seen him through

pain, tears,

solemn years,

eyes have been renewed.

Rebel band worn proudly

crown of thorns so heavy

past his prime yet so fine

life's boot, taught trueth

eyes have been renewed.

He seeks out brothers

to show him other

ways of coping strife

life, love,

work, wheels,

eyes have been renewed.

[This message has been edited by Michael (07-22-2011 06:08 PM).]

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

1 posted 2011-07-22 04:58 PM

Sorry about the error. It should say "band " rather than ban.
Thank you,
Ebonygirl

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

2 posted 2011-07-22 06:12 PM

I enjoyed the imagery of this piece.

"Rebel band worn proudly

crown of thorns so heavy"

For reasons of my own I suppose those lines stuck out for me. Kind of reminded me of my father, though his eyes were never renewed.

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

3 posted 2011-07-22 09:52 PM

I see that you are starting to fit right in, Edna. Enjoyed this.
Ida

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

4 posted 2011-07-23 02:53 AM

I like this very much indeed, ebonygirl. Your poem gives me a respect for this man that makes the tears well up in my eyes. It is good and rewarding to learn from the lessons life offers.

Owl

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

5 posted 2011-07-23 06:42 AM

ms ebony...a pleasure to view him through your eyes...your pen brings him new ink...like traveling tattoos..

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

6 posted 2011-07-23 08:43 AM

Life has many lessons, if only we reach out to them and understand. It seems this man has. Good work, ebonygirl.

~ Eggs and bacon, honeymoon style / What's honeymoon style? / Straight up and hard. ~

ebonygirl
Member Elite

since 2011-07-14

Posts 2000
California U.S.A

7 posted 2011-07-23 05:44 PM

Dear Ida, OwlSA, Michael, JerryPat2 and Dark,

Thank you for taking the time to read my poem.
Your comments, I take to heart and respect.
Thank you,
Ebonygirl

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