you remind me of fire and rain

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Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2007-07-20 10:34 PM

This morning I woke up thinking of you
sipping your coffee
sitting by the window
day dreaming

you know right?

that feeling of being alone
waiting for life,

for the color to seep
in-to your black heart

we share that darkness

the heavy rains have not come yet
and you pray;

I imagine you looking to the skies
in a frame of silence
through folds of light,

               a chorus of ruin

So I began to sing  fire and rain (JT)
and watched your eyes
as the heart-aches of
life flowed over you

the night already green
it is not him who counts hours
but what happens between them

when they are drawn together

standing behind glass
watching the wall of flames

there is no water
but we thirst
and look among the hollows
for relief
against the walls of our chest
where dusk has settled
better yet against the rope of night

I could almost touch you then,
                taste your religion
but then I remember
the memory will outlast
the burn

because we insist on the ripple
of color
to lead to rain

and love did not lead or heal

but merely failed us
into believing

               fire was stronger

~~**~~

just for the mood....

~~**~~
Life is a balance
of holding on and letting go (KU)

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

1 posted 2007-07-20 10:50 PM

much fine-emotive ‘food for thought and
private interpretation’ in this ‘write’!

I am especially fond of the following:

“rope of night” ;

“looking to the skies
in a frame of silence
through folds of light” ;

“that feeling of being alone
waiting for life,

for the color to seep
in-to your black heart” ;

“we insist on the ripple
of color
to lead to rain….

love did not lead or heal

but merely failed us
into believing

fire was stronger (!)”

serious, long-sustained applause!

[especially for the kind of 'imagery'
that truly 'wafts along that eternal
plane!!']

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2007-07-20 11:02 PM

Oh Lordy Lady! There are so many, but this, this was magical.

"that feeling of being alone
waiting for life,

for the color to seep
in-to your black heart"

and this...

I could almost touch you then,
taste your religion
but then I remember
the memory will outlast
the burn

I am sending this to an ex-resident moth who will be giddy with gleeeee. ((^*))

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

3 posted 2007-07-21 12:44 PM

ELEMENTS of life ...

unspoken.

ME

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2007-07-21 04:02 PM

Wonderful writing...I don't believe that love fails us...it is us that fails love...the same could be said for happiness...James

aujussy wolf

Senior Member

since 2003-08-09

Posts 1215
Michigan

5 posted 2007-07-21 04:15 PM

holy smokes greeny you blew me away with that writing! the emotions were there and you somehow found words to descibe it with a magic swirl about it all

- way too cool ge ! ~J

In his mantle gray he walked one day across a shining floor and with crystal key in secrecy he opened an ivory door -J.R.R. Tolkien(T.Bombadil-the adv

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

6 posted 2007-07-21 05:00 PM

"I could almost touch you then,
taste your religion
but then I remember
the memory will outlast
the burn

because we insist on the ripple
of color
to lead to rain "

add me to the list of those blown away....*whew* this is so awesome

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

7 posted 2007-07-22 08:40 AM

"I imagine you looking to the skies
in a frame of silence
through folds of light"
Lauren, this is incredibly romantic imagery. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

8 posted 2007-07-22 11:57 AM

You know dear sis, I have read so much beauty spill from your pen before, but this is imho, your very best ever.

You have the gift lady, now, bind it up,
publish it and let the world be amazed at your beauty and soul...

love you much m'friend.

I am so glad to see you posting again and no matter how long the wait or how much time passes your words are always worth seeking out.

Jezzika
Member

since 2005-01-05

Posts 154
work

9 posted 2007-07-22 01:18 PM

wow!!
..........This was amazing.......

One trillion dollars could buy a heart a soul ~ Anti-Flag

Rick
Member Elite

since 2001-06-21

Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia

10 posted 2007-07-22 03:35 PM

Greeneyes, loved the imagery in this, very much enjoyed my friend, the poet's pen has performed well and treated us with magic.

Rick

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

11 posted 2007-07-24 06:26 PM

love to all and thanks so much for signing by....

~~**~~
Life is a balance
of holding on and letting go (KU)

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

12 posted 2007-07-26 12:57 PM

bump bump - I loved this too much to not share it with more readers.

ArtSolstice
Member

since 2007-03-18

Posts 498

13 posted 2007-07-31 02:06 PM

How did I ever miss this poem? WOW. If any of you haven't already read it, now's your chance. And for those who have? Worth re-reading, again and again.

Jammy
Junior Member

since 2007-07-30

Posts 12
Apoptosis

14 posted 2007-07-31 02:31 PM

That was quite eloquent; very well done, if I do say so myself.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

15 posted 2007-07-31 02:35 PM

Now this is how I like to write...of course I didn't do it, but I can dream, can't I?

This was better than wonderful, my friend, from first to last word . . and the last was a perfect end......

More power to you....

Jimmy

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

16 posted 2007-07-31 05:48 PM

Still doing that thing you do so well

Fine writing, maam

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

17 posted 2007-07-31 11:59 PM

thank you all so much for stopping in, I appreciate all the comments ...

/s to all...

~~**~~
Life is a balance
of holding on and letting go (KU)

Aimster
Member Elite

since 2000-02-19

Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

18 posted 2007-09-19 04:19 PM

Lauren,

Heavens lady....missed your writing! Your writing, I don't even have words. It's rare that I'm speechless! Amazing writing!....amazing

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

19 posted 2007-09-21 11:14 PM

This morning, I woke up thinking of YOU....

Ok, gross exaggeration, I freely admit! But at odd times during the past two days I've been thinking that it may be time to end my "PiP vacation"....and of the people here I've been missing most.

You of course are one of them, and that ISN'T an exaggeration.

If I were writing this poem I would hope to capture even part of it as poignantly as you've done here....and I wish I had been writing it.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

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