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Teen Poetry #8
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Tinsel
Junior Member
since 2007-06-04
Posts 36
UK

0 posted 2007-07-19 03:42 AM


I've got a pocket full of promises,
And a hat full of dreams,
I've got love behind my ears,
And magic up my sleeves.
I walk alone throughout the night,
But I am never quite at peace,
Thoughts fly about my head like moths,
I conjure them with ease.
The moths, they grow, nightmareish beasts,
That tear the world apart,
Their gentle wings create a wall,
That rings around my heart.
Light and fragile as they are,
Their wings, they will not shift,
My pockets are worn, my hat is gone,
Evil is a trait. Destruction is a gift.

© Copyright 2007 Beth Sherlock - All Rights Reserved
RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
1 posted 2007-07-19 08:33 AM


hey ya tinsel, wonderful. your critique message is one in a million. lol. i loved the poem. it was amazing.

-Red

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

BrittanyJ
Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461
Come find me?
2 posted 2007-07-19 10:33 AM


Wow! I really liked it!

"The moths, they grow, nightmareish beasts,
That tear the world apart,
Their gentle wings create a wall,
That rings around my heart."

My favorite lines I loved how you used such gentle, hramless moths to become beasts. Nice job.

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

surf_painter
Member
since 2007-04-10
Posts 434
Canada
3 posted 2007-07-19 12:33 PM


i liked it alot at first i thought i wouldn't but about half way through it really hit me i liked it nice job
RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
4 posted 2007-07-19 02:20 PM


hey brit, those moths are horiblle little beasties! they eat your cloths and leave big hole, just where you want them least. . . lol

-Red

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

Tinsel
Junior Member
since 2007-06-04
Posts 36
UK
5 posted 2007-07-19 02:41 PM


Thanks guys.
Lol, never had a moth eat my clothes. I hadn't seen one for ages until the other night.

BrittanyJ
Member
since 2007-06-03
Posts 461
Come find me?
6 posted 2007-07-19 10:19 PM


I've never really had any trouble with moths myself...but whatever you guys say

So no more hiding all your pain, you deserve a new start. That's why i'm closing myself away, this is a message from your heart.

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