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Open Poetry #39
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Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands

0 posted 2007-01-02 07:53 PM



I'm ready Deer, to give it a try and write a poem your style
My pen in hand quite steady Dear, although it took me a while
To understand the words you wrote, explaining how it was done
Don't want to make a blunder, or my esteem will soon be gone

I've made it through level one I guess, my fingers crossed for two
And you know what? I prayed it would be easy, each line anew
I smoke too many cigarettes, while thinking up a good rhyme
Let me be frank, I'll choke you Deer, for making me sweat this time

Now let's start on level three, I'm halfway done, I'm going through
Because deep down in that heart of me, there lives respect for you
You write great lines of poetry which can make us laugh or weep
I know that I have cryed, eight times I think, touched my heart real deep

Last stanza coming up sweet pal, that's the hardest, I just know
I think I'll watch Bonanza now, energy is running low
Your rhyming form is killing me, just pour me a glass of wine
It all comes down to timing you know, one hug and I'll be fine


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Balladeer's new style: Each stanza consists of 4 fifteen syllable lines.
The second and third syllables of the first and third lines rhyme with the sixth and seventh syllables of the second and fourth lines and the ending rhymes are a-a-b-b.


Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

[This message has been edited by Titia Geertman (01-03-2007 02:47 PM).]

© Copyright 2007 Titia Geertman - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2007-01-03 02:40 AM


Titia, excellently done. Should I try it?

Keth

a good commitee can decimate communication.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2007-01-03 06:58 AM


whoa...this was great, a challenge well met...



very much enjoyed

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
3 posted 2007-01-03 07:48 AM


Thanks. Keth, it wasn't easy at all, at least not for me with my poor English vocabulary, LOL. You have to think up front about rhyming the second/third and sixth/seventh syllable and that very much pinpointed me down. I thought up great lines, but then failed to find a proper rhyme for those syllables.
It was fun though.

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
4 posted 2007-01-03 01:34 PM


Way to go, Titia
Too many words for me to try to write...

Poet, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 2007-01-03 04:24 PM


Wonderful work, my Dutchie! You remained true to the form and came up with a very clever topic, writing about how hard it was to right it. Besides, anyone who rhymes stanza and Bonanza is a genius in my book! You  crack me up!

Thank you for taking the time and making such a wnderful effort

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