Frankincense Is Not A Monster

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Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

0 posted 2006-12-18 09:04 PM

(Here's one of my all-new, original Christmas carols for this year, which serves as both a light-hearted praise to Christmas tradition in its purest sense, while also having a humorous, tongue-in-cheek play with how the modern world has played with traditions as artifacts and such, yay!

Hope you enjoy! Audio will be available, if not this week, within the few days following Christmas! )

*

Frankincense Is Not A Monster
By: Noah Eaton
12/18/06

Frankincense is not a monster,
a yule log is not a dessert,
Saturnalia is not a side effect,
gained from wearing a hobble skirt.
Frankincense is not a monster,
Ded Moroz is not a New Wave band,
The Heat Miser’s not a central heating company,
warming homes across the land.

“O Christmas Sun,
what holy task is thine,
to fold a world in the embrace of God”,
and publicize it like David Zancai,
burn that white smoke brightly,
those praises of the faithful ascending to heaven,
offer my salutations to King Balthasar,
and give my regards to the Nabataeans.
(And remember…)

Frankincense is not a monster,
a yule log is not a dessert,
Saturnalia is not a side effect,
gained from wearing a hobble skirt.
Frankincense is not a monster,
Ded Moroz is not a New Wave band,
The Heat Miser’s not a central heating company,
warming homes across the land.

Now, I’ve heard Burgermeister Meisterburger mistaken,
as a subsidiary of Wienerschnitzel,
then when the magic blanket is woven Christmas Day,
the nostalgic spell caresses them like our lady’s mild thistle,
and Caganer is not a novelty garden ornament,
you can find at your local novelty shop,
it’s with these emblems of princely generosity,
that set your spirit off like a whipping top.
(And remember…)

Frankincense is not a monster,
a yule log is not a dessert,
Saturnalia is not a side effect,
gained from wearing a hobble skirt.
Frankincense is not a monster,
Ded Moroz is not a New Wave band,
The Heat Miser’s not a central heating company,
warming homes across the land.

(Holy Panettone,
are ye singing still on high,
no limitations upon human brotherhood are laid,
when incense owns a Deity nigh.)

(Altogether now!)

Frankincense is not a monster,
a yule log is not a dessert,
Saturnalia is not a side effect,
gained from wearing a hobble skirt.
Frankincense is not a monster,
Ded Moroz is not a New Wave band,
The Heat Miser’s not a central heating company,
warming homes across the land.

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other"

Mother Teresa

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2006-12-18 11:38 PM

You have obviously never seen Frank...incensed.

(verb (used with object), -censed, -cens·ing. to inflame with wrath; make angry; enrage.)

actually, I haven't either, he's pretty mellow--almost monk-like.