Of the nightride - pipTalk Forums

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inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

0 posted 2006-11-28 08:46 AM

Outside
looking in

the sycamore -
in remiss of her blooms

she cradles the window
stretching her branches
forming the curtains
where 2 in the mattress
lay,

we fill in the blanks

our contortionist bodies
mimic the mother tree
as she twists
in her nakedness

we are dots on the vastness

with the train
in the background
playing jazz
in the picture

the chant
of its whistle
etching sound
to our rendevous

i fall limp
in your arms

lustfilled and sleepyeyed
blessed and sobered

as moments so transient
fade with sounds
of the nightride.

[This message has been edited by inkedgoddess (11-29-2006 06:47 PM).]

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius

since 2001-03-19

Posts 13631
West Coast

1 posted 2006-11-28 09:07 AM

ms inky, makes me want to be a window, enjoyed it

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

2 posted 2006-11-28 12:35 PM

Enjoyed

Poet, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

3 posted 2006-11-28 12:49 PM

our contortionist bodies
mimic the mother tree
as she twists
in her nakedness

the entire poem was enchanting...well done

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

4 posted 2006-11-28 03:53 PM

I went to highlight the lines I liked but see Lee beat me to it. Funny how all of nature's creatures do similar things, and we seldom notice. Glad you did, and nice to read again.

Merry Christmas To You And Yours

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

5 posted 2006-11-28 06:37 PM

Wonderful, dear Michele, your poem shows so eloquently your knowing of the connection of all life and the poetic rendering is as always of high level.

Love,
Margherita

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

6 posted 2006-11-28 10:55 PM

You are a wonderful writer Michelle.
This one is excellent in it's creativity and bold, beautiful verse.
TD

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

7 posted 2006-11-29 06:42 PM

thanks for reading me and taking the nightride

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

8 posted 2006-12-01 01:48 PM

the image is captivating ...
well done!

Ct

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

9 posted 2006-12-01 02:23 PM

captivating indeed....this is lovely Mish!!

tek
Junior Member

since 2006-11-30

Posts 32
Austin, USA

10 posted 2006-12-01 03:58 PM

very well done. i like your style and the way you handled the subject. excellent.

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