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Open Poetry #39
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2006-11-19 01:29 AM


Tell me again
how these things are
inscribed in stars of destiny
how it is just what is
and disappointments
variant
between the sheets
of cotton blends
screaming non-compliances
in my sleep, confined?

Tell me how I'm paranoid
how my silences
are void
nodding neither
yea
nor nay
but watching truth
unfettering
spaces
that were awkward
yet
could not be disproved.

You were my most valiant
and you ran the gauntlet spry--
ducking weights of balances
and traipsing plank
of sea and dry

grounding of a principle

juggling perception of
morality's fragility
as if I would prefer a lie
in denial of my eyes;
I played the pretense on the harp--
and bid you my most fond adieu:

"it just happened afterall"
no one is to blame
besides
we were lonely poets then--
and poets dream
denial. I
wish I hadn't bought belief.
I wish that I had stayed a scribe
scribbling notations with
parchment bleeding my relief--
pounding the percussion tease:
the player spans the width of tithe
to every prayer
of despair:

"Damn-you-damn-you-damn-you--I...

wish I hadn't yearned for you
howling like an animal
I wish I never screamed my true
trust into a vaccuum
aching with the lack and blue
of all I never knew

of truth

laughing at me now."


© Copyright 2006 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2006-11-19 01:41 AM


damn if you don't have me thinking deep, I might not even be able to sleep
MsSouthernOrchid
Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 192

2 posted 2006-11-19 01:48 AM


Wow.
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2006-11-19 10:33 AM


Karen...forgive me if I tell you that I read this and cannot find the right words to reply.  
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2006-11-19 10:44 AM


serenity  
Now that is a sigh to beat all sighs.

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
5 posted 2006-11-19 11:08 AM


hmmm...this sounds pretty serious...you better take two Willie Nelson songs and call me in the morning.


I hope this was about a man because at least men are both disposable and interchangeable.


wredgranny
Member
since 2006-11-18
Posts 493
Ky. USA
6 posted 2006-11-19 11:17 AM


wish I hadn't yearned for you
howling like an animal
I wish I never screamed my true
trust into a vaccuum
aching with the lack and blue
of all I never knew

of truth

laughing at me now."

Usti Ulv(little sister)this troubles me in its sad beauty,our hearts are meant for love and caring and not the torture of unknowing.We women need no one to make us who we are,a love is only love when it is given in equal parts.True love never hurts but fills one with joy,is why grandmother say to me be strong enough to walk away if one does not give as much as they take,eh?
blessings


  granny!

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
7 posted 2006-11-19 09:18 PM


I used to suck down everything you wrote like a soul thirsting for only your words and their meanings...

Now that I don't get around here as much as I used to I find that reading you is so much more powerful and fulfilling when I don't get enough.

And to Granny's response?  I think she (Karen) does know, that is why it hurts so much.

*sigh* I think true love can be painful at times...we are only human.  It's how we act and react to that pain that makes all the difference and sometimes we must wail.

love you lady.  

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

8 posted 2006-11-19 09:38 PM


Karen...damn, this was so brutally honest, it rings the pains of love, trying to understand, not just his reasoning, but yours as well.  Though sad, this was outstanding writing girl....I'm sitting here shaking my head...Incredible You!!!!
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
9 posted 2006-11-20 09:23 AM


Karen, like Martie, I am near speechless...

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
10 posted 2006-11-20 10:43 AM


Read, re-read, re-read..
speechless, couldn't think of anything to say.

I love the last stanza.
And your style, as always.

I'm flying in on Wednesday.
So, who knows.

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
11 posted 2006-11-20 10:57 AM


"Damn-you-damn-you-damn-you--I...

wish I hadn't yearned for you
howling like an animal
I wish I never screamed my true
trust into a vaccuum
aching with the lack and blue
of all I never knew

of truth

laughing at me now."

Having "howled" this myself ... dear Karen you have reopened an old wound that I must contend with today. Hugging you, Chrislane

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
12 posted 2006-12-01 12:41 PM


Oh, lady... this one leaves many things... but laughter isn't on that list. Powerful poem building to an incredible ending... My WOW is muffled by weep.
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
13 posted 2006-12-01 08:36 PM


serenity,

  You always do this to me!  It isn't fair!  I can never find the words to describe how your poetry affects me, but I'll try!  Every word, an eruption at the precise moment that it should be born.  Never too many, or too few;

I almost stopped at the following because of the splendid use of poetic imaginery and action. The poem would move itself forward with just those, but your rhyme scheme is the icing on the cake.  I like how you sometimes use the rhyming verses, but stray from them, as well.  By doing this, I believe you are more able to control the emphasis, mood, and speed at which the poem is read in order to provide a reader like myself more think-time.  Often I feel my predictable rhythmic pattern of some of the poems I write leads the reader through the poem in a gallop, thus causing them to miss some of the detail or little tricks I like to play.  Yep, I like how you pace things!  

"You were my most valiant
and you ran the gauntlet spry--
ducking weights of balances
and traipsing plank
of sea and dry"

(I hope you don't mind me rapping on and on about things I don't know much about at all.  I'm trying to figure this poetry thing out little by and by.  I don't feel as awkward trying to respond to a method as I do to someone's personal experience or feelings.)    

Take care, miss serenityyyyy.
See ya around again sometime.

misc


Angel4aKing
Senior Member
since 2006-09-27
Posts 1372
USA
14 posted 2006-12-01 08:51 PM


I am not much for long poems but I really like this....

screaming non-compliances
in my sleep, confined?
as if I would prefer a lie
in denial of my eyes

My two favorite parts and they work together..

I have been here


~~~~Very good poem~~~~~

kingsangel

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
15 posted 2006-12-02 05:09 AM


oh my! exquisite writing here and very much enjoyed.

Be well
Roniece

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.... stay strong!

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
16 posted 2006-12-02 05:13 AM


Yep, what Roniece said, for sure.  Hey, Ser, I like that new pic....and those glasses.....drama!  Smooches......jojo
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

17 posted 2006-12-02 02:18 PM


I read this at work yesterday Karen, and couldnt reply from there so am glad I caught it again...

*shakin my head*  you amaze me lady, reading you is like quenching an insatiable thirst, and still always, always wanting more.  

  Much enjoyed, K.  

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
18 posted 2006-12-02 06:05 PM


Karen...Many thoughts to ponder here and many roads could be taken.I shall let my mind decide for it's self. If you need a friend to talk to i'm just an e mail away.

I really believe this great write of yours may lead me to be inspired to write a poem awakened by you from that little place in my soul where they come from every now and then...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
19 posted 2006-12-07 05:44 PM


Oh my heavenly days.  This pulls me in and at the last I feel like I'm the one writing it.  Luckily I've kept my emotions wrapped in paper and ink and haven't let them out to play in the last 30 years.  Otherwise I'd be bleeding.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
20 posted 2006-12-07 10:24 PM


I favored this poem
by reading it in quiet
sound.

Immediately it pulled me
in directions differently
and I was in your room
in your space
and place
and hurting over some loss
that wasn't even kin
to me.




luminosity
Senior Member
since 2005-11-18
Posts 813

21 posted 2006-12-07 11:59 PM


like sunshine said....in your space and hurting...but mine and yours...related for sure... must have been first cousins or something......
but...gotta add my WOW WOW WOW
oh girl can you write!

spiked4
Junior Member
since 2006-12-07
Posts 35
Hammond, La
22 posted 2006-12-08 10:24 PM


seren,
Been a long time since a can in and the first thing I read send me into a tailspin.
well done

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
23 posted 2006-12-14 05:40 AM


hey sweet serenity... just popped back for another read of this brilliant write of yours !  just wonderful!  RDB  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

24 posted 2006-12-14 06:55 AM


Thank you all for reading, although this one leaves me feeling queasy...I wish now, I hadn't posted it.

Some things are better left screamed into the pillows.

I do appreciate your comments, and I am sincerely sorry that so many of you could relate.

I'll try to restrain from "howling" in the future.

I'll prolly fail--but I'll try. ?

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
25 posted 2006-12-14 07:06 AM


noooooo,,,,,we love your howling Bella!! please continue!  
x RDB x

divine chaos
Senior Member
since 2006-07-09
Posts 617
dancing 'neath the moon
26 posted 2006-12-14 08:20 AM


serenity this is so sadly beautiful, it's the first i've had a chance to read here for a while and it sent me spinning .. it hits so close to home *sigh*  

thank you for sharing hon

~*Sheli*~

By words the mind is winged
~Aristophanes~

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
27 posted 2006-12-17 12:20 PM


we need to howl more.

instead of getting in line

to whatever we get in line for

that keeps us from feeling.


Love,
Reg


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