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Open Poetry #39
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Cloud Stories
| Open Poetry #39 |
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Cloud Stories |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
Blue skies beckon my eyes to rise up - look up - Look up!They say and see beyond See further than you have seen before Read the clouds as they fly slowly by Each telling a story if one listens to hear Look up!They say and listen to the song The music takes one further than what is known today A fine lace of clarity and truth falls like mist And I know how little I do know and I know What I do know is true, but, oh, there is so much more Blue skies enfold me; hold me, hugging me close Taking me beyond the love I know now I look for you in the blue skies And I hear your story in the clouds. aziza |
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| © Copyright 2006 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
aziza I think you are looking for cloud 9, a very hard cloud to find.  |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
But, see, I think I have found it. Hugs aziza |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A soft critique, if I may... I enjoy your line breaks, but between a few of the stanzas, I would have liked to have seen the space between them, and I could have truly rested on the clouds. I enjoyed the sound of it, Aziza... at least, in my own voice, it was wonderful. I would love to hear the same in your voice.  |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
Good critique and thank you. I'll be back with another attempt. xoxoxo Alison |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Aziza, I also love to look into the clouds and read them. This is a beautiful poem. Hugs, Ethel |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
Blue skies beckon my eyes - look up - Look up! and see beyond Read the clouds as they drift by Each tells a story if one only listens Look up! and listen to the song A fine lace of clarity falls like mist My knowledge is truth but, oh, there is so much more to learn Blue skies enfold me I look for you among them And I hear your story in the clouds. A |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
Thank you, Ethel. I love the blue skies and cloud stories. aziza |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
:: laughs :: Sunshine, I do so thank you for the critique and welcome it any time. I got lost in re-write and forgot the space. I think I write like I talk ... quickly. Thank you again .. Alison |
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
beautiful aziza keep listening to the story in the clouds "A fine lace of clarity and truth falls like mist" |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
awww how touching this is! |
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