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Open Poetry #39
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Grinch
Member Elite
since 2005-12-31
Posts 2929
Whoville

0 posted 2006-11-08 05:00 PM


My bed lies half-empty, much like my dreams,
A symbol that life isn't all that it seems,
That roses smell pretty but thorns draw blood
Proving hard times come easy as good.

Thin sheets of cotton can cling to the skin
When nightmares drag memories rumbling in,
Rubbing salt into wounds still refusing to heal
Proving hard times are part of the deal.

I've stared at the moon 'til the morning awoke,
Walked high wire nerves through the fire and smoke
Cursed the wind and his brother the sun,
Proving hard times have only begun.

This wall that my head bangs so stubbornly on
Is a statue to hard times, to show that they won
That my fingers slipped loose self-control
Proving hard times can eat up your soul.

I know hiding in shadows, the fear in the night
The sorrow of losing a one-sided fight
And a half-empty bed, full of being alone
Proving hard times are all that I own.


© Copyright 2006 Grinch - All Rights Reserved
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
1 posted 2006-11-08 08:30 PM


Your form is impeccable...
the theme feels forced, like beating out a dead flame.  
I may be sensitive to the fact that we tell ourselves the hardest untruths, it seems...and also forget that there is a new day on purpose...  
Healing to your sadness.  
  Don't stop until you are empty...the filling up is rather fun.

PEBBLES
Member
since 2006-10-30
Posts 69
South Australia, Australia
2 posted 2006-11-08 09:02 PM


I think I held my breath from the first letter till the last, just as well it was'nt any longer. Keep looking forward the veiw will get better. best wishes.
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2006-11-08 09:49 PM


*sigh*
TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
4 posted 2008-01-06 11:56 PM


Beautiful poem. Very good. But very sad. Why you choose to write this kind topic?
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