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Open Poetry #39
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Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2006-10-27 02:29 AM


Staring at the blank words
floating across your page, you say
"I never got the meaning of Dickinson"
and we are standing in pools, now,
puddles of dripping consonants and
vowel shaped stepping stones, rules,
that I will not take back to you

I am going to be stubborn and
these thoughts will float behind your
back to me, to keep me company in
the bitter cold of absence, you can keep  
the excuses, you can wait until I am
older to tell me "the way things are",
this is the way things were

Do not flatter yourself to say that
I miss you, I am concentrating far too
hard on the shape of your text to be
drawn into confusion, I will fight with
one word answers, draw your own conclusions
but don't you ever, ever
think that you are better than that.



© Copyright 2006 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
1 posted 2006-10-27 03:52 AM


Allysa,

  This is amazing writing!!! I thought this was especially brilliant and flowed wonderfully:

"Staring at the blank words
floating across your page, you say
"I never got the meaning of Dickinson"
and we are standing in pools, now,
puddles of dripping consonants and
vowel shaped stepping stones, rules,
that I will not take back to you"

Your poetry always evokes my emotions.  I'm probably wrong half the time at my interpretations of others' poetry, but I sense a trust was violated, causing uneasiness.  If it is so, I wish you healing.  Believe me, I know how it hurts and angers.  Take care, Alyssa.

                  miscellanea  

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
2 posted 2006-10-27 10:26 AM


Lovely as always.
(;

-Juju

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

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