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Passions in Poetry

Needing Slight Attention

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Grinch
Member Elite
since 12-31-2005
Posts 2710
Whoville


0 posted 11-03-2006 02:22 PM       View Profile for Grinch   Email Grinch   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Grinch

The gutters groan, the dead leaf stew
Turns a torrent into meagre drips
When slate skies pour.

Remember how we spent that summer
Tottering on ladders giggling?
Risking broken bones and bruises,
With less time cleaning - more on tickling.
Springsteen blaring ‘Born to Run’
And us content to sit there listening
To the fools too busy leaving
To notice what they’re running from.

The snow-white walls bear orange stains
Where rust has painted tiger tails
From roof to floor.

It took all week to paint those walls
Between our bouts as Musketeers,
With self-inflicted crosses marked
And your white nose and dotted ears.
I’m sure D’Artagnan never wore
A skimpy skirt with high heeled shoes
Or bend or break fair swordplay rules
To kiss opponents in a clinch.

These rooms are boxes filled with nothing
It’s time to let the echoes die
On a long slammed door.

© Copyright 2006 Grinch - All Rights Reserved
Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 08-31-2001
Posts 14673
just out of reach


1 posted 11-03-2006 03:14 PM       View Profile for Nightshade   Email Nightshade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nightshade's Home Page   View IP for Nightshade

Very interesting write that left me with a meloncholy smile. Enjoyed. hugs, Chris

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 05-18-2001
Posts 29020
Gaia


2 posted 11-03-2006 03:28 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

~sigh~
tiger tailed memories
can still grab
the throat

enjoyed the 'leaf stew'
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 02-02-2000
Posts 28839


3 posted 11-03-2006 04:28 PM       View Profile for serenity blaze   Email serenity blaze   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for serenity blaze

"Or bend or break fair swordplay rules
To kiss opponents in a clinch."

en garde!


ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 02-22-2002
Posts 9456
Michigan, USA


4 posted 11-05-2006 05:35 PM       View Profile for ThisDiamond   Email ThisDiamond   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ThisDiamond's Home Page   View IP for ThisDiamond

Liked the word play, and the vision of musketeers...
Bitter sweet memories, but good to remember the sweet...that's what should come with, when we move on.
Write it out.
Aeris Nicole
Junior Member
since 08-18-2003
Posts 21


5 posted 11-05-2006 05:38 PM       View Profile for Aeris Nicole   Email Aeris Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aeris Nicole

I really liked this,
it was very visual.
I liked the last part the most.....it was very emotional.

I totally felt it.

aziza
Member Elite
since 07-09-2006
Posts 3000
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!


6 posted 11-11-2006 01:48 AM       View Profile for aziza   Email aziza   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for aziza

I smiled and felt sad -- and enjoyed every word.

Thank you.
A
TomMark
Member Elite
since 07-27-2007
Posts 2111
LA,CA


7 posted 01-07-2008 12:05 AM       View Profile for TomMark   Email TomMark   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for TomMark

I call this was a natural poem flowed directly out to the screen.

"The snow-white walls bear orange stains
Where rust has painted tiger tails
From roof to floor."

Made my laugh.
 
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