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Open Poetry #39
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Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2006-10-17 05:15 PM


Called to say he smoked
a cigarette in the shower
today
like those cool kids do

I tried to tell you

It's like screaming in a
bathroom full of steam and
hidden meanings

trying
to get you to understand

and
it's not what you think
You said you wouldn't
let me drink myself
into
a cloud I could float by on

he is so far gone

why don't you chase after him for awhile.

© Copyright 2006 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Sarkany
Junior Member
since 2006-10-14
Posts 32

1 posted 2006-10-17 06:29 PM


Hi

Disillusionment maybe a bit of frustration comes through this poem. It seems like "you have been there and done that" and your warning is falling on deaf ears.

Saekany  

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
2 posted 2006-10-18 03:47 PM


This is very well done.  It is nice to read your poems again.


Juli

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silient all these Years, Tori Amos

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2006-10-18 04:05 PM


Most excellent write...good to read you again!
Hugs~Nancy

Autumn, the year's last loveliest smile~

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
4 posted 2006-10-18 06:50 PM


It's always fun to try to convince people to listen. I have missed this place, and although I vanish sometimes, I always come back.

It's like family.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2006-10-18 10:00 PM


good one

nice to read you

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
6 posted 2006-10-19 08:57 AM


Hi, Allysa.

Short, emotion-filled and packs a "punch"...just the way that I like them.

Excellent write.

John xo

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. -Khalil Gibran

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