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Open Poetry #39
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JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States

0 posted 2006-10-17 03:35 PM


Pieces of 9/11

I walked a road of destiny;
a blood-red path for all to see.
And so did blaze this stark, bare trail--
with hope upon this broken vale,
to find the smallest bit of thee.

Piece-by-piece I found your boldness
scattered by the winter’s coldness;
careworn bits of what you wanted,
seasoned with your thoughts that haunted
all your days of creeping oldness.

As I walked and I collected,
smallish pieces God neglected,
soon I saw a picture forming
of the castles you were storming,
filled with loved ones you respected.

All your work, your carefree travel,
watched your tapestry unravel.
Now I’m left with thread and cross-stitch,
scattered madly o’er path and ditch--
mixed with paper, steel and gravel.

I sort the pieces I can find
of broken body, heart and mind,
and clean them all with tender care
--your ev’ry piece that winds lay bare--
as grief and tears both sear and blind.

I walked a road of destiny;
a trail apart left just for me.
And thus, have marked this stark, red trail--
to try to fill an empty pail
with just the smallest bit of thee.

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

© Copyright 2006 John L. Hunter - All Rights Reserved
Sarkany
Junior Member
since 2006-10-14
Posts 32

1 posted 2006-10-17 06:38 PM


Hi

This is your number one fan attesting to your considerable talent. Marvelous write.

Sarkany

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
2 posted 2006-10-17 07:57 PM


Hey, Sarkany.

Number One Fan deserves Number One Thank You.

Thank You. (Okay, technically that's two, but who's counting?)

John

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

seraphin
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004
Michigan
3 posted 2006-10-18 09:55 AM


I've concluded the word "mastery" is descript of your talent. I would like to read more, but this one,

well

this one made me cry.

If that was your intent, congratulations. I will look for more when my heart is stilled.

Sandra

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
4 posted 2006-10-18 10:01 AM


I liked the rhythm.

INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
5 posted 2006-10-18 10:18 AM


John,

From one in the fire service, who lost a lot of brothers and sisters that awfull day,

THANK YOU

INclan

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
6 posted 2006-10-18 11:22 PM





"As I walked and I collected,
smallish pieces God neglected"

sad
ineffably sad
and beautiful

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
7 posted 2006-10-19 06:15 AM


Hi, Sandra.

I'm sory that my poem made you cry, but this was indeed a very sad write.  I felt 9/11 very personally.  Not only did a wonderful woman who worked at the church near my house die in AA Flight 11, but two friends of mine each had a friend who was on an upper floor of the towers.  Neither one lived.

Both during and after 9/11, I saw such paralyzing grief that it was paralyzing to me, too.  Consequently, I had to write.  This was what I created.

This poem was, for me, very sad and a somewhat cathartic experience.  I hope that other people experience it similarly.

John xo

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
8 posted 2006-10-19 06:16 AM


Hi, Allysa.

It is a classic rhythm that I sometimes follow.  I'm glad that you liked it...

John xo

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
9 posted 2006-10-19 06:23 AM


Hi, INclan.

I am only too happy to receive your thanks.  Of all of the people who were lost, the pictures and videos of the heroes heading up the stairs in hopes of rescuing other people were the images that impacted me the most.

Others ran away in terror, and who can blame them?  The heroes ran towards in courage, and who can truly say that they could do the same?

My heart goes out the "first responders," since they suffered and died as a result of their voluntary participation--and that is truly inspiring.

John

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
10 posted 2006-10-19 06:27 AM


Hi, TL.

Thank you for your beautiful comment.  I feel that I have shared a piece of my heart with people who honestly understand what I was sharing.

Thanks again.

John xo

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

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