navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #39 » The Darkness Hides My Pain
Open Poetry #39
Post A Reply Post New Topic The Darkness Hides My Pain Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States

0 posted 2006-10-12 12:40 PM


The Darkness Hides My Pain

The sun insinuates itself between my nights,
A traceless journey from which I have departed;
It chases away the stars’ ephemeral flights,
‘Til broken patterns regress to where I started.

‘Tis treason to complain about the sun so bright,
Yet I lament the loss of dark that covers pain.
My soul does oscillate between the day and night;
Dark allows license to cry--tears an unseen stain.
Their individuality is hid from sight,
As your perfume reminds me how my heart was slain.

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

© Copyright 2006 John L. Hunter - All Rights Reserved
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
1 posted 2006-10-12 08:45 AM


"My soul does oscillate between the day and night;
Dark allows license to cry--tears an unseen stain.
Their individuality is hid from sight,
As your perfume reminds me how my heart was slain."

Wow!  Such an ache to this John.
That 'empty' feeling was evident in this write.
Well done Sir...very well done!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

Autumn, the year's last loveliest smile~

Kira Aso
Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351
Closer to Hell...
2 posted 2006-10-12 10:01 AM


There was so much feeling here! (So very sad)

Well done indeed.

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
3 posted 2006-10-13 04:28 AM


Thanks again, Nancy.

It was a very painful write.  I was going back over some loneliness...

John xo

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
4 posted 2006-10-13 04:30 AM


Hi, Kira.

Thank you for your nice comments.  I do so enjoy it when someone "feels" what I did.

Thanks again.

John xo

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
5 posted 2006-10-14 01:30 AM


A scent can spiral back to a place we long to leave, but can enfold us in memories.

This is so sad and so beautiful.

Thank you -- I am enjoying your writing.

Alison

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2006-10-14 08:12 AM


John~

You opened with a killer line -
'The sun insinuates itself between my nights'
-then polished it to perfection~



*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -         noles1@totcon.com     

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2006-10-14 09:50 AM


I sure know about the perfume/cologne thing

God it hurts sometimes

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
8 posted 2006-10-14 08:01 PM



I agree
about the first line
killer
and so is the last
everything in between?
perfect


JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
9 posted 2006-10-16 09:57 AM


Hi, Alison.

Yes, a scent can conjur up magical or devastating memories.  I prefer magical...

Thank you so much for your kind comments.

John

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
10 posted 2006-10-16 09:59 AM


Hi, Marge.

"You opened with a killer line...then polished it to perfection..."

What a delightfully kind thing to say!

I truly enjoy--and appreciate--your feedback.

Love, John

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
11 posted 2006-10-16 10:01 AM


Hi, passing shadows.

Yes, smells, especially when tied to romance, are tied to the most primitive (and emotional) areas of our minds...something to do with ancient survival instincts...

Thanks for the sad words... *sniff*

John

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
12 posted 2006-10-16 10:03 AM


Hi, TL.

What a nice thing to say. Thanks for those nice comments!

John xo

Pinky: Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?
Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky: try to take over the world!

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #39 » The Darkness Hides My Pain

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary