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Open Poetry #39

Chaos butterfly (Haiku)

Triskaidekaphobia
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 251
In a state of disrepair...

0 posted 2006-10-08 04:23 PM

Chaos butterfly
Pretentious in loneliness
Bringing autumn storm

After reading the haiku of others I just had to imitate my betters. Halfway through I recalled why I don't do haiku. They are so bloody hard! Well this should teach me not to mimic.

"The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun
With Coca Cola clouds behind a Big Mac sun."

One God by The Beautiful South

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

1 posted 2006-10-08 04:33 PM

mimic some more Tris
you do it so well
that middle line hums...

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

2 posted 2006-10-08 05:09 PM

Trisk~

Not so bloody hard
You did yours fine and dandy
Care to go again ?

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - noles1@totcon.com

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

3 posted 2006-10-08 05:16 PM

I say...bring on the storm if it is haiku! I do enjoy haiku but I have to be "in the mood." I find when my muse is gone, it's the easiest way to keep writing. Enjoyed this.

INclan
Senior Member

since 1999-07-20

Posts 1024
Indiana, USA

4 posted 2006-10-10 06:37 AM

Thank you for not stopping in the middle. Yours is a wonderful Haiku. Welcome to the Autumn Haiku club. I wonder how many more will jump on the wagon [hay ride].
Regards,
INclan

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