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Open Poetry #39
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The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest

0 posted 2006-10-08 02:32 AM


toledo is a walled city  
how correct that seems  
for keeping in  

salida del sol
sunrise Tajo
is a silent river  
jade to silver    
curled in on itself    
reflecting back  
we listen to its stillness    
a witching noise  
you say    
escuche
listen
put your head here  
sueño ahora  
dream now    

déme tú mano
give me your hand  
I cannot dream alone    
pero the river is
ocupado  
busy
looking for you  
and I am  
solamente
una vez más  
alone
once again
not even a thread
from your shirt
to remind me
de tú cara
o tú olor
of your face
or your smell

porqué
why
can the wall
not hold you
porqué

[This message has been edited by The Lady (10-08-2006 03:05 AM).]

© Copyright 2006 Kate - All Rights Reserved
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
1 posted 2006-10-08 02:41 AM


Kate, I love the mixture of language in this one.  I am in awe of your many talents.  *hugs*....jo
Triskaidekaphobia
Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251
In a state of disrepair...
2 posted 2006-10-08 02:50 AM


I do detect a love for Spain
That lies within your new refrain
Such lovely words and so unfeigned
Keep writing and I'll read again

"The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun
With Coca Cola clouds behind a Big Mac sun."

One God by The Beautiful South

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
3 posted 2006-10-08 03:01 AM



jo
thank you very much
hugs to you
sueños dulces
sweet dreams...

thank you Tris
I promise this
I'll write of Spain
if you read again
shoot...
I wish I could rhyme
  

Triskaidekaphobia
Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251
In a state of disrepair...
4 posted 2006-10-08 04:18 AM


Ah, Lady, nor rhyme can I
and will not til the day I die
Words I have to offer are but this
hit those lines with a rhythm stick!
After this pointless post I will desist
I am sorry but I just could not resist.



I really do like this a lot, just to add a little purpose to this!

"The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun
With Coca Cola clouds behind a Big Mac sun."

One God by The Beautiful South

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2006-10-08 08:04 AM


LadyKate~
Absolutely GORGEOUS !!

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -         noles1@totcon.com     

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2006-10-08 09:00 AM



No reason to rhyme
when you paint words
so very well.

And where did you
find that skein of ache?

You weave it
with skill.




passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2006-10-08 09:58 AM


I don't know why I still cringe when I see these of yours, I know they are going to be awesome!!

I guess it's the high school memory of failure in that language LOL

seraphin
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004
Michigan
8 posted 2006-10-08 10:44 AM


The imagery is absolutely amazing. Your use of singular phrasing echoed by spanish is outstanding. Instead of detracting from the quality, it adds a succulent flavor to the entire work. (I always wanted to use the word "succulent" in a reply and I did! And it fit!)

The poem is enchanting and mesmerizing. I repeat what I have said before, you NEED to do a compilation of your work.

Sandra

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
9 posted 2006-10-08 04:05 PM




love your rhymes Tris  
you make me smile…
  

Marge  
I appreciate your reply  
as always…

thank you so much Karilea
you see me well
that skein of ache
lies in my heart…

I don’t mean to make you
cringe Dixie
I try to make it easy
unlike Senor Becker…
sonrisa
smile...


thank you Sandra!
I love your reply
and your “succulent”    
it’s a ripe word  
come back again  
and bring succulent
with you…


Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

10 posted 2006-10-08 05:33 PM


Oh how the silent river speaks through the stillness....your words carry it's melody into our hearts sweet Lady friend..I can hear her ache, her song....

Nicely done Kate..
quietly whispering, Bravo...

seek the flame within yourself
and let your soul be cleansed by
the fire of love.  Axel Ekenstierna

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
11 posted 2006-10-08 05:50 PM




whispering back...
thank you so much
gentle Donna
for hearing

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
12 posted 2006-10-10 06:52 AM


ladyone, you lowride my chevy lincoln
with your jump up on the window raza..enjoyed it ms

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
13 posted 2006-10-10 06:40 PM




I like your chevy lincoln
Stranger…
like your shirt too
let me see it
a minute
is that a thread?

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