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Open Poetry #39
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Poet deVine
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2006-10-06 12:39 PM



Stones in the tide
Make as much of a wave
As these words I write
Make upon your heart

Plunk
Plunk
Plunk

They drop to the bottom
Like words weighed down
With passionless
Unused emotion

Plunk
Plunk
Plunk

Titanic tombs hold them
Unsaid, unheard, unread
Rocks in the ocean of blue
They lie
unwritten

dead

© Copyright 2006 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2006-10-06 02:36 PM


Poet deVine
One of your best.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
2 posted 2006-10-06 04:24 PM


stones of misery
good to read you again
but it hurts, too

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2006-10-06 04:25 PM


It's been a long time lovie. (all my fault too) and I agree with sy, although I get confused sometimes when I read you, as it's hard to put "best" in order when it's all good.

The construction was effective for me visually too.

plunk

plunk

plunk

Nodding.

May I join you?

plunk

Some days are like that...

Titanic tomb was a nice touch too.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2006-10-06 04:41 PM


Good to read you...I felt the beat of this..right down to the last word, which was perfectly placed.  
scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
5 posted 2006-10-06 04:52 PM


I like the tone of this write Poet!

believe in what your heart feels...

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
6 posted 2006-10-06 04:52 PM


Now, that's a good analogy!  And, I don't think I need to say why, really, if it's okay with you.   .....jo  
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
7 posted 2006-10-06 07:19 PM


Thank you all for the kind replies....


I actually posted this in the Haven in 2002..I went looking for some of my work and found this. I do not remember writing it although I do remember the circumstances. A couple of us were on an IM and we'd each take turns throwing out phrases..we'd have to use it in a poem and post it immediately.

Sigh...so it isn't new...the muse is not back, just wanted to be honest with you. I miss writing...

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