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Open Poetry #39
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Edward Grim
Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina

0 posted 2006-10-04 02:59 PM


Thoughts from a man with a rake.

“Rippsing ands tearing,
feedsing and pulling.
The Worms in,
theys bleeding.
Iron teeth things,
rusted rippings.
The Worms in,
I won’t forgets you.

I watches the uppers
of what’s aboves me.
Whites floating me
callings me to
wants what we’s need.

Scratchings I made,
from a rakes in my hands.
Grasses and weedings
feeling teethed for me’s.
Soils loosened with rowses of
roses that the bled Worms in
won’t ever be able to reach
to sniffs.” – Thoughts from a man with a rake

Once you are truly insane, it’s all picnics with Kafka after that. See, it’s the process of going crazy that you gotta worry about.

© Copyright 2006 Edward Grant - All Rights Reserved
seraphin
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004
Michigan
1 posted 2006-10-04 03:08 PM


This is great! I love it!!!  

Sandra

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2006-10-04 03:49 PM


From the first line, I heard the words in a raspy whisper... perfect accompaniment for the worms' demise. *S*

This is fantastic! *S*

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
3 posted 2006-10-04 04:31 PM



I love those

"rowses of
roses that the bled Worms in
won’t ever be able to reach
to sniffs."

the whole blinking thing is terrific!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2006-10-04 04:31 PM


I found this absolutely intriguing.

You managed a portrait and characterization in the confines of a single poem, and it read like a page from a chapter of a book.

Loved it.

Edward Grim
Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina
5 posted 2006-10-05 06:05 PM


Thanks everybody, I really appreciate it.  Cheers

Once you are truly insane, it’s all picnics with Kafka after that. See, it’s the process of going crazy that you gotta worry about.

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