How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #39 Archive
 My First Poem..
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

My First Poem..

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
DreamerSpirit
Member
since 10-02-2006
[First Post] 239
Buenos Aires, Argentina


0 posted 10-02-2006 12:15 AM       View Profile for DreamerSpirit   Email DreamerSpirit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for DreamerSpirit


Well, This is the first One..
It's Somethin' that happened some months ago..


A Dream to Remember(And then I saw You)

It Was A Cloudy Night
I Was Waiting for Someone
and then I saw You

It was really Cold
it Was really Dark
I was getting tired of Waiting
and then i saw you

it was really silent
there were no stars
only the door of my house
and you

i went to see yo closer
i went in to talk to you
i went in to tell you..
Hello
i went to kiss you
Again

but then i woke up
it was all a dream
no cold, no stars,
no silence,
no friend comin' late
no you

and then i remembered
you left
you got out of my life
that night

Oh! I just Remembered
that i wanted to look for you
that i wanted to see you
that i wanted you back
in my life

i don't know where you are
i don't know if you still wait for me
but i'm gonna look for you
until the end

oh! i just remembered
that i wanted to hold you
oh! i just remembered
that i wanted to tell you
i love you
oh! i just remembered
that i wanted to tell you
i love you
oh! i just remembered
that i needed to tell you
i love you
oh! i just remembered
that i'd love to tell you again
i need you
© Copyright 2006 Denis-DreamerSpirit - All Rights Reserved
aziza
Member Elite
since 07-09-2006
Posts 3000
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!


1 posted 10-02-2006 02:02 AM       View Profile for aziza   Email aziza   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for aziza

It's pretty sad - and I hope you find this love again.  I like your poem -- you touched my heart with it.

Thank you for sharing your first poem.

aziza
Kira Aso
Member
since 09-26-2006
Posts 350
Closer to Hell...


2 posted 10-02-2006 03:41 AM       View Profile for Kira Aso   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kira Aso

Is this really your first poem?!

(Stares in disbelief)

Very good job! Really enjoyed! Also very sad...

Welcome to Passions! I know I'll be looking for more of your work!

Hugs and Hershey bars for you!!!

~Kira

deasomnians
Member
since 06-20-2006
Posts 87
California


3 posted 10-02-2006 03:44 AM       View Profile for deasomnians   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for deasomnians

Excellent job. Keep writing!

"Nature has implanted in our minds an insatiable longing to seek the truth" - CJCL Convention Theme 2005

dingusjr
Member
since 09-24-2003
Posts 423
Missouri


4 posted 10-02-2006 06:25 AM       View Profile for dingusjr   Email dingusjr   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dingusjr

Welcome, welcome.  You will like your new home at PIP.  Hope ya come back often!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


5 posted 10-02-2006 06:59 AM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

kinda like a song

Welcome to Passions!
DreamerSpirit
Member
since 10-02-2006
Posts 239
Buenos Aires, Argentina


6 posted 10-02-2006 06:17 PM       View Profile for DreamerSpirit   Email DreamerSpirit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for DreamerSpirit

Thank you thank you for welcoming me
and thank you for your time into reading my first poem.
i must recognize that i didn't expect my first poem to be read and commented in so short time. Thank you all for your acceptation.
I'll Keep posting other poems i got...
see you!!

Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 03-03-2010
Posts 1185
Osaka, Japan


7 posted 11-23-2010 08:54 PM       View Profile for Earl Brinkman   Email Earl Brinkman   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Earl Brinkman

Good use of repetition makes this feel like a song that lingers in my heart.  Sad but effective.
 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #39 >> My First Poem.. Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors