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Open Poetry #39
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Asthma
| Open Poetry #39 |
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Asthma |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
Sometimes I just can’t breathe It sucks to realize what I used to take for granted Only to see simple things become a bit of a struggle Asthma is insidious as it fights for control – of me Every breath becomes a battle The wheeze cheers for the other side As I brandish my inhaler in my tightly closed fist The sneer that paints my face masks my fatigue Asthma may think it will win, but I have conquered worse This lack of air is simply an annoyance It never sets me back for long. aziza [This message has been edited by aziza (10-01-2006 02:00 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Alison - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
Thank you and hugs right backatcha! |
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ChePacifica Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 58Ignore Alien Orders |
very good job and the last two lines are a great close |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
A fellow sufferer. It is a difficult disease to explain to a non-sufferer, but you did an excellent job. The worse part for myself, is the point where it becomes easier to NOT try to breathe. That is a most defining moment. Good job, Aziza. Sandra |
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Triskaidekaphobia Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251In a state of disrepair... |
Unlike seraphin and yourself I am not asthmatic. I have however found myself unable to breathe on occasion due to doing things i should not have been. I have to say it is by far the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced, I salute you for considering an annoyance.  An excellent poem even for us non-sufferers. "The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun With Coca Cola clouds behind a Big Mac sun." One God by The Beautiful South [This message has been edited by Triskaidekaphobia (10-04-2006 10:45 AM).] |
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arbpoet Junior Member
since 2006-11-22
Posts 38 |
Thank you. I have had asthma since the age of four. I almost died from asthma three times when I was 15. My asthma got under control after that. I am on eight medications. I still have difficulty when it is too hot or cold outside. I sometimes get lung infections, colds, and sinus infections which make the asthma worse. I have felt the same way you do in your poem. I never leave the house or go outside without my inhaler. |
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Edward Grim Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154Greenville, South Carolina |
You know what? This really is an excellent piece. I like what you did with it. Very well done, I mean that. Ed And I said to the devil, "You better leave my spleen alone." |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
very nicely expressed ... RDB |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
where ya at girlie? You are missed! |
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