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Open Poetry #39
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Kira Aso
Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351
Closer to Hell...

0 posted 2006-09-29 11:55 AM


There was once a time of old
To have it back my soul I'd have sold
For the chance to take the other road
Would it have given me a lighter load?

Standing at the edge so full of fire
Not realizing my decision was dire
Finding that all is not what it seems
As everyone stepped all over my dreams

The road was either rocky or muddy and wet
Leaving me to be angry or truly upset
Situations that I didn't need to understand
Led me down into a dark waste land

But springs that gave me a glimmer of hope
Helped me get through, helped me cope
Though I can't help wondering about the road not taken
Would it have left me less shattered, less shaken?

My plans before seem so silly now
Time and experiance are what crease my brow
The soles of my feet are bruised and scarred
This road has left me broken and marred

If I had went the other way
Would I be who I am today?


These words were originally for some one I knew at one time but some how I think they connect with me a bit too now.

~This is pretty old (wrote it a couple years ago)I just wanted to know if it was any good~


© Copyright 2006 Kira Aso - All Rights Reserved
seraphin
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004
Michigan
1 posted 2006-09-29 01:19 PM


Yes Kira, it is quite good. The line, "the road not taken" was used by Robert Frost for one of my favorite poems entitled "The Road Not Taken".
But on to your work. Very nicely done. You work a great deal of emotion into your poems, a good deal of thought into your expression, and it shows. I think you have a good deal to offer and I enjoy reading what you have created. You are going to be a masterful Poet.

Sandra

D.Lester Young
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1219
Austin, Tx
2 posted 2006-09-29 03:34 PM


Very well presented piece of art.
Kira Aso
Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351
Closer to Hell...
3 posted 2006-09-30 09:59 AM


Thank you Much!
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
4 posted 2006-10-01 01:36 AM



Kira
I like it
keep on keeping on...


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2006-10-01 01:53 AM


awesome!!
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