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Open Poetry #39
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jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

0 posted 2006-09-27 07:55 PM



I Wish You Tears


Dawn light, fog muted, hangs translucently
among the trees and stones, the occasional mourner,
out here like me sharing the morning,
as I always have, with you.

They say you can see God at times like this,
on mornings like this, in cemeteries,
looking down upon his children,
those left behind.

I don’t.
See God.
Just fresh turned earth, all the more apparent
by the new green sod on top;
the massive amount of flowers, trampled grass,  
lack of leaves in an oval, raked area
sharply contrasted by it’s adjacencies.

God, I wish you tears like the tears I cried yesterday,
like the ones I’m holding back today -
rivulets of them running down Your cheeks
for the child you took away.

No, I don’t see You out here,
nor the beauty of the morning,
just the tiny space filled by a child,
the child you thought I could do without,
the one I always said I loved with the love of God.

I won’t come back, here.
All my love was given to the life or her,
and will be carried in my heart,
my soul, my memories,
where she will live as long as I.

But I trust you’ll stay here God,
waiting to watch over the one’s left behind
as they come to cry, to call your name,
to question ‘why?”.

And I wish you tears,
thousands and thousands of tears
as you stand there looking down
upon the child you took from me.

I wish you tears, God,
oceans and oceans of tears.


© wesley james beard, jr.
september 2006
(. . . about a funeral I attended . . . )

© Copyright 2006 Wesley James Beard, Jr. - All Rights Reserved
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
1 posted 2006-09-27 07:57 PM


"I wish you tears, God,
oceans and oceans of tears."

very tender

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
2 posted 2006-09-27 08:02 PM


Jimmy,  emailing a hug....an excellent
poem,  chock full of feelings and thoughts.

Good to see you again.

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
3 posted 2006-09-27 08:22 PM



Very powerful, poignant and painful to read....

Melissa~

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

4 posted 2006-09-27 08:31 PM


oh Jimmy.....this touches deeply....
hugs to you sweet friend of mine....

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
5 posted 2006-09-27 08:38 PM


jwesley,

   This touches me very deeply.  You write with such strength, yet gentleness.

Yes, tears.

I absolutely love this poem!
It carries such honesty...

miscellanea


miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
6 posted 2006-09-27 08:40 PM


You can always tell how long its been since I've been posting when I forget to drag one of my favorites to the library!  

Now I have it!

misc

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2006-09-27 09:03 PM




James...

Oh, Poet....

He does cry...

every day.

Wouldn't you?  If you were He?

I know I would.  I know...
at times, I do.

And I'm no where near that type of being; but I do know this:  He promised a better place.  So, I choose to believe in that.

What hurts us now, [and yes, it pains for time] is something that we can either grapple and fight an unending fight with; or, accept something that is so broadly inevitable, like circumstance and accident; fate and decision; and trust, from there.

I know this probably doesn't make much sense, but James, right now, it seems right to share this with you, and to know...

to know that something bigger, better, wiser, milder, something with a better ability to calm, to rejoice in, to acknowledge...has to be there...for people, like you, and me.

Ok, you can smack me now, but I have always appreciated your poetry, and I appreciate even more your love of life.  So the next time I want to blaspheme?  You can throw this right back at me, m'friend.  Over time, this is what I accept.  And I only lay it down here, and now, to remind you that this little person that you are reminding Him of, is remembered, by more than Him, now.

And for that, I thank you, for sharing this life.




Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
8 posted 2006-09-27 09:10 PM


....sigh....there is simply no pain that can compare with this one...and I admire you, not for writing such a beautifully poignant expression of it, but for being able to write of it at all.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

seraphin
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004
Michigan
9 posted 2006-09-27 09:40 PM


How this must have bruised your heart to write. It is an honor to read it.

Sandra

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
10 posted 2006-09-28 12:20 PM


The death of a child is especially tragic and can bring many emotions to the fore. ~ sadness, angst, anger and disillusionment.

I concur with miscellaneous's comment, "This touches me very deeply.  You write with such strength, yet gentleness." ~ Indeed you do!

I would also like to echo Sunshine's eloquent response in its entirety.

Jimmy, I could feel your raw emotions and you wrote passionately of them.

Prayers are sent to the loved ones of that child who has passed on.

Love & Eternal Light,
Linda

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
11 posted 2006-09-28 12:55 PM


Jimmy, my friend...I just want to say I'm with you in heart
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2006-09-28 08:43 AM


JWesley~
I read this and cried ... came back, read again ... and cried ... this time trying to let you know just how very much this touches one who has been at the cemetary for the services to lay a little one to rest, and thought the same heartbreaking thoughts~

*heart sighs*
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -         noles1@totcon.com     

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
13 posted 2006-09-28 11:17 AM


jwesley...This brought back the memory of a long depart cousin that passed away at the tender age of seven. Sometimes the memories and pain fade a little, but they are always just a tear drop away. Touching poem...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2006-09-28 12:37 PM


Jimmy....I have embraced these same words in a different way, for a differnt child...you speak of tears, His tears...and I wonder if life itself does not cry constantly because ....sometimes it is just so hard to understand why.  
XOx Uriah xOX
Senior Member
since 2006-02-11
Posts 1403
Virginia
15 posted 2006-09-28 12:48 PM


John 11:35   Jesus wept.

((( jwesley )))

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
16 posted 2006-09-28 02:06 PM


This touches so deeply
a place that is for the loss of wee ones,
and I cry.

Heart hugs m'friend.

~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
17 posted 2006-10-03 10:27 AM


I've read this several times over the last few days... each read brings tears.

A powerful write... a heartwrenching loss...

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
18 posted 2006-10-03 02:44 PM


I have asked many times,
why? why? why? and shed many tears fighting with this concept 'God'...and still do. For me, there is no benevolent creator, and have seen far too many young innocents be taken away unjustly, unfairly, to believe in that characterization of a super power. But if you do believe, I believe you have every right to demand that tears fall from the heavens above.
Heart hugs to you, dear friend.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
19 posted 2006-10-03 04:37 PM


I'm glad this came back Jimmy.  The emotion here shook me, and I couldn't respond right away.  Not only did you do a superb job writing it, but the resonance of the feelings last long after the read.
Thank you for writing this.

TD

TwiztidKarma
Junior Member
since 2006-09-22
Posts 43
Florida
20 posted 2006-10-03 06:06 PM


I like it
fr33lost
Junior Member
since 2006-10-04
Posts 16
new york
21 posted 2006-10-04 11:20 AM


so deep and entertwined...
great read..
oh haw the heart loves to play ping pong..

fr33lost
Junior Member
since 2006-10-04
Posts 16
new york
22 posted 2006-10-04 11:59 AM


bro-ham..
this is so tender yet underlined w/ the toughness only God can preduce...
so feeling this drop..
the captured emotion paints such a strong bond..

Refugee
Member
since 2006-08-04
Posts 97

23 posted 2006-10-04 12:05 PM


Wow.
Well said.

I am moved to tears because of this.
Very powerful.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
24 posted 2006-10-04 07:28 PM


You have expressed your thoughts well...hugs...James
aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
25 posted 2006-10-04 11:48 PM


I hurt reading this.  It is so incredibly moving and so powerful. It makes me hurt --

Thank you for sharing,
Alison

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
26 posted 2006-10-05 12:32 PM




"I wish you tears, God,
oceans and oceans of tears."

it is indeed
powerful
and so well written
I hear you
here
in my heart...


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