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Open Poetry #39
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Madam Butterfly
| Open Poetry #39 |
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Madam Butterfly |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia 
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A tiny little creature has today taken flight Weaving its wings through the morning sunlight An emotional farewell to a place you have called home Leaving behind your village sad, lifeless and alone You came upon us 10 days ago Glistening in the sunshine, sparkling so You have left me with a spirit to live And willingness to always forgive May you fly with grace and skill, May you take that trip beyond the hills. Lil’ butterfly fly to the stars Live life to the full here and afar |
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| © Copyright 2006 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
What a sweet, spirited write! In your own life ~ "May you fly with grace and skill, May you take that trip beyond the hills. Lil’ butterfly fly to the stars Live life to the full here and afar"  Simply beautiful! Loving Light, EA  |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Thankyou so very much for ur loving comment Hugs Jessica |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
How delightful!  Much enjoyed the read. Hugs~Nancy ~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Amen...as you wish for others, they will wish for you...James |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
If you want to improve on your rhyming poetry...take a look at the meter and see how many syllables there are per each line of poetry. Sort of like.... I came to see the stars and gaze upon the moon as Saturn chases Mars and the cow eats the spoon each line has six syllables. could have been 8, 10, 12...depends on the writer and what each line becomes as length is added or taken away.... I do like your poem...It is a beautiful write, with some awesome scenery. Just trying to follow your critique message and give you a pointer or two.... One thing that some people take advantage of is "Poetry for Dummies".... a book that has some very good pointers in it. |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
niceMy spirit will rise |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Thankyou all very much. I appriciate your comments magnus and am off too write a poem using syllables. Thankyou Jess |
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