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Open Poetry #39
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Reflections
| Open Poetry #39 |
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Reflections |
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cbautista Junior Member
since 2006-09-13
Posts 38 |
Seconds tick down Into minutes, wafting down Into hours, flowing down Into a day, dribbling down Into the sunset, sinking low Up rises the virginal moon Into vast empty skies Trickling back into the horizon Where the twin awakens Rays soaring into open fields Of blue And all the while... Seconds ticks down Into minutes, wafting down Into hours, flowing down Into days then dribbling down Into the sunset sinking low Along the horizon. Again, any criticism is welcome. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Catherine Bautista - All Rights Reserved | |||
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
I love this. Seconds ticks down Into minutes, wafting down Into hours, flowing down Into days then dribbling down Into the sunset sinking low I love this poem. aziza |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
I like your precision in sequencing, both in time and the progression of -ing verbs. Neat! The way you wrote it, it caused me to linger over the words... misc |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
a trickle of wet down over stone shimmering images and time too in mind enjoyed it |
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