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Passions in Poetry

where he is? (charcoal man and his lady)

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The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 12-26-2005
Posts 7633
The Southwest


0 posted 09-13-2006 12:13 AM       View Profile for The Lady   Email The Lady   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for The Lady

the something of him
she does not know
cannot touch
wanders
teche
way the bayou bends
south

Panama ridin’ high  
feet shined  
slidin’ smooth      
brown tip calypso in lapel  
patchouli  
dominican leaf cigar smellin’ man    
sits in front of cantina
warm in the sun  
  
women in brown skin  
sniff air      
un transport      
unable to sit still    
toss skirts  
prattle  
smile fast red lips    
black eyes    
gaze over shoulders      
charcoal man crosses legs
amused  
sips cognac    
raises glass to women    
   nice nice  
  
make play
pool table dancin’
lap sittin’
eatin’ chevrette
from strange woman fingers

day grows old  
sun turns away  
charcoal man stands
rogue
cabris
takes woman hand  
reaches
touches
feels shadow hair memory
calls lady’s name
at last
  
  ah
  mon jeannette  

brown woman disappears
charcoal man stands alone
cold
© Copyright 2006 Kate - All Rights Reserved
aziza
Member Elite
since 07-09-2006
Posts 3000
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!


1 posted 09-13-2006 12:54 AM       View Profile for aziza   Email aziza   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for aziza

They have me so wrapped up ... so filled with their story and their inner parts.  And, sometimes, I see pieces of my life -- as they share so much of their lives.

aziza
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 12-26-2005
Posts 7633
The Southwest


2 posted 09-13-2006 12:57 AM       View Profile for The Lady   Email The Lady   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Lady



thank you aziza
they have my life too...
Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 05-30-2003
Posts 3637


3 posted 09-13-2006 04:59 AM       View Profile for Goldenrose   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Goldenrose

You evoke the scene, set it up like a director, then let us see true colourful genius and local everyday life played out through dialect superb...we are there... smellin the patchouli..breathin the cigar smoke...and feelin the ambiance dripping from the walls..thank you lady for such brilliance..

Goldenrose
Gentle Spirit
Member Laureate
since 10-09-2000
Posts 14329


4 posted 09-13-2006 07:55 AM       View Profile for Gentle Spirit   Email Gentle Spirit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Gentle Spirit

ahhhhhhhh, no matter where he is, lady lives in his heart. Kate this one is by far, my favorite. GR said it best, this is brilliant.  Oh, I would so definately pay to see this saga at the theater!!  
seraphin
Senior Member
since 09-24-2000
Posts 997
Michigan


5 posted 09-13-2006 07:57 AM       View Profile for seraphin   Email seraphin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for seraphin

Your skill at character evolution is masterly. It is only dwarfed by your ability to draw the reader fully into the world of your creation. You have us living, breathing, feeling this couple.

He's going back, isn't he?
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


6 posted 09-13-2006 08:32 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine


It has become a lovely dance of lives, staged just so.

Continue to haunt the air with more streams of mossy sounds, please.
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 03-19-2001
Posts 13647
West Coast


7 posted 09-13-2006 09:35 AM       View Profile for Dark Stranger   Email Dark Stranger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Stranger

ladyone, can see this painting, in the dim lit joyhouse..back wall over the dark long hound bar...curls of a habana playing tag with some sneak up sun from a distant window

enjoyed it
cbautista
Junior Member
since 09-13-2006
Posts 38


8 posted 09-13-2006 10:58 AM       View Profile for cbautista   Email cbautista   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for cbautista

I feel like I am listening to a tamborine, or the beating of an excited heart.  I thought it captured the moment, nice work.  Are you planning to change anything from it now, or do you find yourself completely satisfied with this?
Spike Daft
Junior Member
since 09-12-2006
Posts 23
CA, USA


9 posted 09-13-2006 02:07 PM       View Profile for Spike Daft   Email Spike Daft   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Spike Daft's Home Page   View IP for Spike Daft

You really have talent with imagery and a wonderful, unique style. I really enjoyed this... Keep up the fantastic work!

Grey Matter Custom Images
http://spikedaft.deviantart.com

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 12-26-2005
Posts 7633
The Southwest


10 posted 09-13-2006 10:15 PM       View Profile for The Lady   Email The Lady   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Lady

thank you  Goldenrose
for your kind reply…

yes Gentle Spirit
the lady is his heart…
hope he knows that now
thank you so much

thank you so much Sandra
yes
he’s going back
but to what?

thank you Karilea
more mossy sounds
coming…

thank you Stranger
love that habana…
smells so good

cbautista, thank you so much
I don’t plan to change it now…

thank you Spike Daft
for your kind reply…
iliana
Member Patricius
since 12-05-2003
Posts 13488
USA


11 posted 09-14-2006 12:40 AM       View Profile for iliana   Email iliana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for iliana

Ok, Kate, you definitely have me hooked on these!  *hugs*....jo
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 12-26-2005
Posts 7633
The Southwest


12 posted 09-14-2006 12:44 AM       View Profile for The Lady   Email The Lady   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Lady



thank you jo...
hugs to you
Magicmystery
Senior Member
since 02-13-2002
Posts 935
Windsor, Ontario, Canada


13 posted 09-14-2006 11:28 PM       View Profile for Magicmystery   Email Magicmystery   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Magicmystery's Home Page   View IP for Magicmystery

I wished I had read these in order.  I can smell his cigar this is so real for me. You've answered the question in the back of my mind here for 2 of your poems.... Why!?

Great story!  Glad I didn't miss this one.

Sherry

     
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 12-26-2005
Posts 7633
The Southwest


14 posted 09-14-2006 11:32 PM       View Profile for The Lady   Email The Lady   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Lady



thank you Sherry
glad you enjoyed...
Kate
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


15 posted 03-27-2011 01:28 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

He spoke her name - and said so much more than her name.

A
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