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Passions in Poetry

full moon night (charcoal man and his lady)

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The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 12-26-2005
Posts 7633
The Southwest


0 posted 09-08-2006 12:41 AM       View Profile for The Lady   Email The Lady   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for The Lady



charcoal man
slips out screen door
night slidin’ by
lady sleepin’
pulled into happy curl

full moon
whispers in the bayou
he sits on dock of memories
smokin’ fresh rolled dominican leaf
gator glides up
eyes half lidded

   ol caimon
   I feel like gratin
   stuck to bottom of pot
   love my doucette
   need a little sauce picante too
   know what I mean?

gator gazes
yellow eyes

  where you lady tonight
  ol caimon
  while you out
  soft slidin’ ‘round?

charcoal man
carries his fresh rolled back to house
slips open screen
quiet like
hooks Panama on nail
lifts dream sheet
sighs
bed creaks

lady turns
fits herself content
to her man

© Copyright 2006 Kate - All Rights Reserved
iliana
Member Patricius
since 12-05-2003
Posts 13488
USA


1 posted 09-08-2006 12:55 AM       View Profile for iliana   Email iliana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for iliana

Kate, is this a book....these are great!
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 12-26-2005
Posts 7633
The Southwest


2 posted 09-08-2006 01:05 AM       View Profile for The Lady   Email The Lady   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Lady



thank you Jo...
I don't know if it's a book
they just keep coming...

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


3 posted 09-08-2006 07:36 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine



Book or not, the story-telling of this is vignette quality and glows well in the lamp light.  This, I think, because of the monologue including caiman, qualifies as one of your better submissions.

Yes, indeed, Kate...write on!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 03-19-2001
Posts 13647
West Coast


4 posted 09-08-2006 07:37 AM       View Profile for Dark Stranger   Email Dark Stranger   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Stranger

ladyone, seems a quiet time
between the hurry-cains...
enjoyed the tender
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


5 posted 09-08-2006 09:29 AM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Lady...I Love the tender realness of this scene.  
seraphin
Senior Member
since 09-24-2000
Posts 997
Michigan


6 posted 09-08-2006 09:47 AM       View Profile for seraphin   Email seraphin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for seraphin

Ok, now I feel for him. He is the like the smoke from his frsh rolled. It can't be contained, if she tries, she will only choke.
I'm relating a wee bit too much to this couple. I have to keep reminding myself they are not real.
Trust me Lady, this IS a book. I don't think you really have much say in the matter anymore. Just write it, and make us all happy.
Jeeeeez! Some writers are soooo darn stubborn!
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 12-22-2000
Posts 6147
standing on a shadow's lace


7 posted 09-08-2006 10:52 AM       View Profile for 1slick_lady   Email 1slick_lady   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit 1slick_lady's Home Page   View IP for 1slick_lady

some people never realize that...real freedom is in giving yourself...away
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 12-26-2005
Posts 7633
The Southwest


8 posted 09-08-2006 04:34 PM       View Profile for The Lady   Email The Lady   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Lady



thank you so much Karilea...

ah it’s tender and quiet now Stranger  
but mr gator knows the truth
and he ain’t talking
I noticed he’s smoking that dominican leaf
you suggested…


thank you Martie
the charcoal man doesn’t speak much  
but when he does…

yes indeed Sandra  
you are so right about choking on the smoke  
I feel for him too...  
I really don’t have any say anymore  
they just won’t leave me alone  
thank you

you’re right Helen
thank you …
aziza
Member Elite
since 07-09-2006
Posts 3000
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!


9 posted 09-10-2006 02:56 AM       View Profile for aziza   Email aziza   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for aziza

I love how you develop both characters so we can get to know them both.  I love them and am enjoying your story development.  You have me on the edge of my seat, yet wanting to take my time and savor each poem.

aziza
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


10 posted 09-10-2006 09:01 AM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

I am so caught up in these posts...
Love'm all!
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 12-26-2005
Posts 7633
The Southwest


11 posted 09-10-2006 05:22 PM       View Profile for The Lady   Email The Lady   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for The Lady


I’m on the edge of my seat too
aziza…
thank you so much

thank you very much
Enchantress…
I appreciate your replies
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-27-2008
Posts 9055
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!


12 posted 03-27-2011 01:15 AM       View Profile for Alison   Email Alison   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alison

quote:
ol caimon
   I feel like gratin
   stuck to bottom of pot
   love my doucette
   need a little sauce picante too
   know what I mean?




And that says it all to me.

A
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