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Open Poetry #38
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LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296


0 posted 2006-08-24 09:43 AM


Funny how….

life drifts in & out of clarity
like conversation wrapped around
long springing curls of stories

counting steps of colors at the edges
colors that I wanted so, to touch again
at the time, I was fast asleep, could
only see the grays of grave yard shifts

when one holds their lips tightly together
life becomes a lie
that was my first mistake

I had forgotten how to fight
those blasting honking noises in my ears
no longer able to find our front yard
only storage bins where long forgotten
letters lay hissing at me...like a great
black panther slinking over my doorway

I remember our fifth anniversary
Void...alone, drinking my own full moon
out of a bottle of courvoiser
the dark imprint, of his body
in our empty bed, lay crying with me

our anniversary, ripped my flesh
like talons of a black crow
while i scratched my knees on the shards
of glass...
from his adventures with other women

how long, how longon the upside, there were no
voices screaming & twisting my face
on the eve of this special day
has it been?
how much longer will I take this?

the fire was pretend, you’d be surprised
what one is capable of practicing
when their life could change in a matter of
minutes...
or seconds...

but you think
and you weigh
out the balance
life...death........
was I in-between?
where did I fit in all of this?
what had I gotten myself into
to love, to be loved, to believe?

there were lots of times I spent
sliding on my belly, face pressed down
in the dirt of his words
all crumbling
brown blackish stench
of rotting self image

he grew strong
like a mean man walking a
dog on a leash, he gives em so much
lead, then WHAM, he snaps it back...
the dog, chocking up blood
that dog was me...

and you divide the risk,
multiply the chances
that he may come after you
like he so often says
screaming until...
until you blacked out
unafraid....sensless

or the times,
you’d fly across the room
without the assistance of a net
reformed like a reborn human
in the path
of an 18 wheeler...

food is fuel...in an empty space
redundant cobalt blue tugging my
my stomach, until nothing stayed down

endangered perspectives, swooping
past me at the speed of light
disintegrating in a pattern
of hopelessness

softness drawing out,
like melting snow
being sopped up by some
giant bug infested
sponge
with the pungent odor of
rotting cantaloupe
and the endless darkness
of the hole where I went

to escape the chillness

nothing was pretty
staying alive meant
scrunching up in a
fetal position
where imaginary friends
were short-listed

silence grew intergalactical
like some matrix that awakened
goose bumps on the flesh
of my apocalyse
enslaved in some infinate
dungeon

tall spirals of mist
reach up now
passing light fingers
through me

God, it’s a good life!!!
I’ve come further down
the river then first thought
swimming in
cool deep waters
where there ain't
no boundaries

and the word silence,
is carved clear across the evening sky
as if to say,
"you’ve escaped,
come hell or high water....
you’ve escaped gal"

and I had!...yanno?


     loosing nothing

                    and

waist deep in those colors....

you could to...~

don't ever sell yourself
short!

[This message has been edited by LeeJ (08-25-2006 06:40 AM).]

© Copyright 2006 Lee J. - All Rights Reserved
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
1 posted 2006-08-24 10:00 AM


Amen!

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
2 posted 2006-08-24 10:03 AM


"he grew strong
like a mean man walking a
dog on a leash, he gives em so much
lead, then WHAM, he snaps it back...
the dog, chocking up blood
that dog was me..."


Very sad.
And it makes my blood boil at the same time!!

LUV YA HUN!
JL


Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed:
blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.
~Jesus Christ

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2006-08-28 10:49 PM



From submergence to emergence! You are not just a survivor ~ you are a thriver!

Loving hug,
Linda

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
4 posted 2006-08-28 10:56 PM




"there were lots of times I spent
sliding on my belly, face pressed down
in the dirt of his words"

profound LeeJ
and well done...


seraphin
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004
Michigan
5 posted 2006-08-28 11:31 PM


This deserves to be the anthem of those that have worn not only the shoes, but the shackles of abuse. Some would call this "therapeutic", but as any survivior will attest, you can never "write" away the pain, only try to express and educate what it means to endure. Very well written. You have my deepest admiration.

Sandra

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
6 posted 2006-08-29 03:55 AM


And I still designate you as the total WOMAN!
You Rock as they say today. love, martyjo

HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia
7 posted 2006-08-29 07:35 AM


Lee , wonderful emotional flow through the high and the low , your colourful words now glow , hey bravo


Hope

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

8 posted 2006-08-29 08:04 AM


You said it all sistah, and I would add my Amen to this.....
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