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Open Poetry #38
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icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2006-08-05 07:26 AM


                         .
I didn’t know you were listening,

I didn’t know you could feel,

I didn’t know you were bleeding,

I didn’t know you were real.

©2006 by icebox
                          .



© Copyright 2006 icebox - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2006-08-05 09:07 AM


I like this very much, but it feels like the begining of something much longer....is there more to this?
Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
2 posted 2006-08-05 09:37 AM


Amen, brother, amen.

Four lines, four sticks of personal dynamite. I think that every person who reads this poem will take something different from it, and assume they know just what you had in mind...and they'll all be right.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2006-08-05 11:15 AM


icebox

This touches something very human and makes it personal and gripping.  

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2006-08-05 11:20 AM


icebox
That's because you had her in the fridge.
LOL

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2006-08-06 12:02 PM


To me, this signifies a moment in growth...could be between a man and woman....could be between a parent and offspring when the child reaches maturity....could be when we open our eyes to the awareness of the world around us.  In any case....a   
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2006-08-13 11:20 AM


I didn't know is no excuse, is it...and it usually happens when it's too late.  Reading this again I think how important it is to know, now.  Poignantly unsettling.
seraphin
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004
Michigan
7 posted 2006-08-13 11:27 AM


I fully agree with Ratleader. So, please add my echoing sentiments.
Well done.

Sandra

Joe Houck
Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 324
california
8 posted 2006-08-14 06:56 PM


ahh....ignorance is bliss is it not?
Midnitesun
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Gaia
9 posted 2006-08-14 07:26 PM


so now that you know, what changes?
the thoughts, or the method of presentation?
always, words trigger reactions,
a jolt of sorts, often to the core

words have great power
a powerful write, m'friend

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
10 posted 2006-08-15 03:48 PM


Sometimes simple is louder
and more powerful
This is both

Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
11 posted 2006-08-15 04:09 PM


I love the economy of words
Well done!

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
12 posted 2006-08-18 06:00 PM


Excellent quatrain.  It tells the whole story, doesn't it?

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
13 posted 2006-08-19 09:27 PM


You have always, to me, been a man of few
but many powerful words.  You can turn most
any thought into a neon sign, flashing
brightly, imprinting on our minds.

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