Recalling The Cold Sea. - pipTalk Forums

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Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

0 posted 2006-07-27 06:24 PM

You were alive then,
i mean really alive.
The long hours of
happy laughter, on endless
summer days;the rock
pools, the hushing waves.
Sunshine sheening your face,
tousled hair in soft rain,
and you will always
be that way, sweet
child in time;frozen
featured sister of mine.
How would you look?
be? To me now?
Gone to a world
far removed from here,
but each day tightens
a grip inside me,
since the sea beckoned
and you fell beneath
waves, forever dreaming of
mortal life, forever haunted
by your slow slide,
beneath a cold sea.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2006-07-27 07:29 PM

OMG! This is heart-ripping!

reminds me of the Titanic

what emotion, what a scene...wow

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2006-07-27 09:53 PM

Phil, chilling but fantastic write.
This soul shall remain with you forever,
for you've kept her spirit afloat with these loving words. Heart hugs to you.

seraphin
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1004
Michigan

3 posted 2006-07-27 10:28 PM

The wonderful thing about this creation is how the end so perfectly frames the work. I know I am explaining this badly, but the beginning is perfect and the ending surpasses even that. A beautiful piece.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2006-07-27 11:01 PM

A heart aching....to be sure.
Whether fiction or fact,
this grips.

Thank you for sharing.

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

5 posted 2006-07-28 04:45 AM

Thank you for replying to this everybody, it is in fact fiction. A tv programe lead me to thinking of how i would be, if as in this situation, a younger sister had been taken, drown and been forever the same age, never growing old but always frozen in time, how would i feel? thank you so much for commenting, on what was at first an experiment, then something that i am now proud to have created from seemingly ''a feeling''..

Goldenrose.

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

6 posted 2006-08-08 12:00 PM

I came by to take a peek, just for a few minutes and my heart was touched by this piece, beautiful work, one of my favorites of yours!

Goldenrose
Member Elite

since 2003-05-30

Posts 3665

7 posted 2006-08-08 12:08 PM

Thank you ARH for your kind reply...

Goldenrose.

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

8 posted 2006-08-08 12:12 PM

You are welcome! good to see your poetry growing and more alive than ever!

~ARH

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

9 posted 2006-08-08 12:31 PM

I saw in one of the replies that you wrote, how this poem came into being.
The believability of your words illustrates the depth of your talent ~ and empathy.

Loving Light,
Linda

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

10 posted 2006-08-08 12:40 PM

sad, but expressed well, a dedication which is long remembered through the sands of time...well done

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

11 posted 2006-08-08 02:03 PM

You paint the life so vividly it makes the loss more poignant... much as it would surely be. *S*

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