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Open Poetry #38
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Martie
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California

0 posted 2006-07-26 07:59 PM



Truth Song

It comes to me over waves
of bright light and wisdom
and a hush within the mighty ground
even thunder knows.

It calls the grand tree
with red bark like a woman feels
and the decay and wilt of time
lifts head.

It is air come heat
and the long hard pull of night
so quiet in creep
that a dream becomes real.

What is its name child?
Is it the grand before beginning
when a current was born
now so raging

that it weaves destiny
into just one scream?


© Copyright 2006 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
the quell
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since 2006-07-19
Posts 144
Liverpool, UK
1 posted 2006-07-26 08:10 PM


beautiful and profound. Gorgeous imagery, and a real air of mysticism.
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
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Listening to every heart
2 posted 2006-07-26 09:27 PM



You make me want to delve
into some quicksand
of lifegone

to pull out bones that would make
history complete.

We are on an exploration
of knowledge...

and may your glass of pour
never be filled...

so that the search
will never end.


Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2006-07-26 09:43 PM


You possess such amazing writing talent!!
Hugs to you sweet lady.
Nancy

For it was not into my ear you whispered
But into my heart..
It was not my lips you kissed
But my soul.

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
4 posted 2006-07-27 02:53 AM


Martie, I will (sadly) never in my life be able to write like you...you're one of a kind lady
Goodknight
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since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
5 posted 2006-07-27 07:43 AM


You are terrific Martie - what talent you have!!!  Paul
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2006-07-27 11:37 AM


MartieSis~
Blessed am I to hear your song~
You rock me to my poetic core~

This ... this ... is Martiesque~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -       noles1@totcon.com       

Ratleader
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7 posted 2006-07-27 11:54 AM


I think you know its name....in truth, you do.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Goldenrose
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since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

8 posted 2006-07-27 06:53 PM


it is always so nice to be able to read your work Martie, i am always humbled by your thought waves and this is one of those times again..oh and i am the same as Dixie...thank you for this flower lady..

Goldenrose.

Brian James
Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147
Winnipeg
9 posted 2006-07-29 01:01 PM


I think one of the things that makes poems like this so effective is the attention to detail.  One of the elements of your style that I enjoy is your willingness to omit words that seem as though they should be included, but for some reason aren't.  

The first line starts us off in that way, "it comes to me over the waves" (which is what I think I was anticipating) becomes "it comes to me over waves," and the next line (after the obligatory mid-line pause) goes on to reorient me properly.  Quite the experience, that one---there's always a little more explaining to do.
quote:
It calls the grand tree
with red bark like a woman feels
and the decay and wilt of time
lifts head.
Here, there's that ambiguity---it could have been "lifts its head" but now, I'm not sure whose head is lifting.  I'm starting to think "lifts head" might have just been a creative way of saying "becomes awake," or it could have been something that roused you into a state of awareness.  In each of these two cases what's so special is that your image is without any particular place, though it is very real.  

Your creativity terrifies me.  I have guesses as to what this mysterious little poem is about, but I think I don't want to try guessing, because nobody else has.  The sudden scream is the real boggler, especially since it doesn't carry any of the connotations we usually associate with screaming by the time your poem is up---we're only told there is turmoil, but that it is quite natural (something nature recognizes).
quote:
It is air come heat
and the long hard pull of night
so quiet in creep
that a dream becomes real.
This stanza is magical.  It gave me chills.

Thanks for all the poetry, as always.

Brian

"To me, the thing that art does for life is to clean it, to strip it to form."
~Robert Frost

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2006-07-29 01:10 PM


Brian...birth usually happens with a scream...a mixture of joy and pain...and with each birth is born the truth of that life.  
Brian James
Member
since 2005-06-26
Posts 147
Winnipeg
11 posted 2006-07-29 01:12 PM


Martie,

I did guess what it was about.  Now I think maybe it was too obvious, but I didn't want to assume anything and risk embarassing myself.

You did this perfectly, of course.

"To me, the thing that art does for life is to clean it, to strip it to form."
~Robert Frost

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