A Bedtime Story (Re-Write)

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Open Poetry #38

A Bedtime Story (Re-Write)

Billy_tha_Kidd
Junior Member

since 2006-07-17

Posts 27
Indiana USA

0 posted 2006-07-26 06:27 AM

....and then the evening sun in tide
putt's to rest it's cloudy bride;
the murky dog star barks in fright
into our blossomed bloom of night.

Tho' the sum of sin is paid
to every other meter maid,

with arms a-cross

and lip un-bent,

paying postage with a kiss.

...and the demon deep inside
stirs and hopes, with hidden eye
to chance the passion caught in flight...
by the devil's darkened light.

beyond the amber flames, where, made
the very coins that lovers paid

to passion loss

on wasted rent

that paid the frozen cyber-bliss.

seraphin
Senior Member

since 2000-09-24

Posts 1004
Michigan

1 posted 2006-07-26 10:50 PM

I'm not sure how this escaped me, but I'm so glad I caught it. Magic.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2006-07-27 02:49 AM

what a fascinating rhyme scheme here! I absolutely LOVE it

elisalie16
Member

since 2006-07-12

Posts 118
new jersey

3 posted 2006-07-27 03:57 AM

oh wow. i absolutely love love love your writing.

playing.with.crayons
Member

since 2006-01-02

Posts 362
Neverland

4 posted 2006-07-27 04:16 AM

this is brilliant.

Billy_tha_Kidd
Junior Member

since 2006-07-17

Posts 27
Indiana USA

5 posted 2006-07-30 01:42 PM

Thank you all

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