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Open Poetry #38
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elisalie16
Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 118
new jersey

0 posted 2006-07-19 01:47 PM



as the sunlight died
your face flickered and flashed
and a sick shaded green swarmed over our heads
in place of blue or grey or gold and hope.
our setting was shredded as we hurried down flights of stairs
with hands on heads or over ears
to shield out screams that echoed with silence.
objects of cover came crashing down
and we were left to forfeit our attempts to save ourselves,
in exchange for thankful words and drenched dark clothes.
the hair of girls, set so carefully and held with grace
was seen laying in dreads of muddied water,
and dripping with black that stained their shoes.
a safe house threatened us with massacre
while it warned that the only places we had left to hide
were the houses we fled from by day.
the air blasted cold and the stove blurred with heat,
and although the girls' hair dried and the screaming winds lost their will to screech
while the specks of black were scrubbed away,
new sicknesses arose and took residence deep in chests,
caused by the such unfamiliar shelter
and the ice it shot through humnan bone.

© Copyright 2006 Anne - All Rights Reserved
aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
1 posted 2006-07-21 03:25 AM


Pretty powerful and very visual.

aziza

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2006-07-21 09:37 AM



I liked the visual of this -

'the screaming winds lost their will to screech'

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -       noles1@totcon.com       

Edward Grim
Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina
3 posted 2006-07-21 10:39 AM


Welcome to here. You have a lot of potential in poetry. Very nice. Cheers    - Ed

I'm not smart, I'm just a tricky dumb person.

elisalie16
Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 118
new jersey
4 posted 2006-07-21 10:50 AM




:-)

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