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Open Poetry #38
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me_here
New Member
since 2006-07-14
Posts 5
Qld, Australia

0 posted 2006-07-16 12:23 PM




I held her in my palm
like a beautiful flower
delicate
intricate
perfect.
The wind came
and I closed my hand
so she would not be blown
out of my grasp
but in doing so
I bruised her
and when I opened my hand
I realized my mistake
though it was too late
what I once held dear
was crushed
and gone


© Copyright 2006 Jon - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2006-07-16 08:29 AM


ouch
BeautifullyBroken84
Junior Member
since 2005-11-16
Posts 11
Minnesota, USA
2 posted 2006-07-16 12:49 PM


I felt sad as I neared the end of your poem...but I think that is the sign of a good poet, to be able to transfer feelings onto the reader...nicely done!

~* I write the waves of my emotions, with my pen as my ship and my heart as my compass *~

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
3 posted 2006-07-16 04:49 PM




Heartbreaking and beautifully done, me.


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2006-07-17 03:28 AM


I think I did this...some are angels...not meant for consumption...James
aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
5 posted 2006-07-18 08:39 PM


I think there are times that we all hold someone we love too tightly.  Your poem is beautiful and sad - just like life can be at times.

aziza

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2006-07-18 09:25 PM


A beautiful bittersweet write.
Well done.
Hugs~Nancy

For it was not into my ear you whispered
But into my heart..
It was not my lips you kissed
But my soul.

TinaTrivett
Senior Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 569

7 posted 2006-07-18 09:46 PM


Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
me_here
New Member
since 2006-07-14
Posts 5
Qld, Australia
8 posted 2006-07-18 10:43 PM


Thank you all so much for your feedback
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