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lokiwolf
Junior Member

since 2006-06-27

Posts 31

0 posted 2006-06-27 10:49 PM

Dancing in the dark,
Straining for the light
It all leaves a mark
Oh this never ending night.

Searching for lost dreams,
As my strengh wears
With the moonbeams,
The only thing that cares.

I am the sin of the sun
I live in slavery
I want to hide, to run
I know nothing of bravery.

At everthing I fail
I lost all my support
Im hanging by a nail
Watching my life contort.

Climbing this mountain
Its taking so long
I'll find a dry fountain
I'll never be strong

I am alone
I can't stop this fall
I wanna pick up the phone
but who would I call?

by holly
age 12 gr7

well seeing as im out of school i guess im grade 8 but whatever because i typed it before school was out.

[This message has been edited by lokiwolf (06-28-2006 12:07 AM).]

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

1 posted 2006-06-27 11:44 PM

My! 8th grade?

You are way ahead of the proverbial curve!
This is an excellent poem. I bet you could make this into a song. Very nice!
What ever you do keep on writing!!

JL

(8th grade? Was I ever that young??)

Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed:
blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.
~Jesus Christ

lokiwolf
Junior Member

since 2006-06-27

Posts 31

2 posted 2006-06-27 11:56 PM

thanks

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2006-06-27 11:57 PM

Dear Holly...

I remember 12. And you have a talent worthy of developing. Go ahead and listen to your words...they will guide and give you more than you ever knew.

Welcome to Passions, Poet. Please, check your email for a Very Special Greeting.

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

lokiwolf
Junior Member

since 2006-06-27

Posts 31

4 posted 2006-06-28 12:06 PM

I wrote another a while ago about my cat and posted it on here.

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

5 posted 2006-06-29 09:27 AM

Twelve twelve twelve twelve......comparing this with things I wrote at twelve.....with my face edging into red....

Holy cow this is good -- don't you dare stop writing! Not ever!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

6 posted 2006-06-29 09:40 AM

quote:
Searching for lost dreams,
As my strength wears
With the moonbeams,
The only thing that cares

Twelve! "Lost dreams"? Gosh! Go on dreaming and try to be less cynical. And go on writing poetry, yes, you have a very clear talent.

Welcome to Pip!
Love,
Margherita

Serena
Junior Member

since 2006-06-25

Posts 47

7 posted 2006-06-29 11:38 AM

you show passion, promise, and a great deal of talent. You are a very giften young lady, and very wise for your age. Share more

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