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Open Poetry #38
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Lillies and Roses
| Open Poetry #38 |
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Lillies and Roses |
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Poetic Concept Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 66God's Fingerprint |
Emerald grass, Sapphire birds, Feral roses Bleeding pollen, so striking, radiant, affectionate Caring for you I will, beautiful rose… My dearest lily; let me live, Soft pedals heaving me toward you, Weary at sight; I hide, retreating to my stunning rose… Longing for your presence, I wait, eager for your arrival I smell your nectar; shrouded heaven essences… Lily, how I adore, senses rejuvenated at the sight of you; I fall, Until the new spring, eventfully you cannot stay with me dear lily For I am seduced by the beauty of rose… Beautiful tender rose, sensual, exotic, glowing, rose, virtuous is she Caught in a tangle of vines, losing you I might, But lily, my first, my only, I have come to grips… Our season has ended; I want a divorce… "How vain it is to sit down and write when u have not stood up to live" |
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| © Copyright 2006 Howard Taylor - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Caught in a tangle of vines, losing you I might, enjoyed the above line (divorce though, not my favorite subject)  M |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
this took me back in time, to the English era, made me think of the movie, Sense and Sensibility.... but the end, loved the way you snuck that in so delibrately yet, so unaware to the reader...this was not just another love poem, yanno? Enjoyed |
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Poetic Concept Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 66God's Fingerprint |
I just tried to take away the cliche part of love poems give it an interesting twist, give it a little originality, thats what seperates most of my poems I try to be orginal with most of the ideas concepts are cliche but that is about it... thx for the feed yall I appreciate the honesty! "How vain it is to sit down and write when u have not stood up to live" Anonymous (Unknown) |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
If it wasn't for the divorce idea ... I could have stuck to the idea that you were a butterfly. Lovely dance of words. Love, Margherita  |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Strong write. Word dance is the inspiration. TD |
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Serena Junior Member
since 2006-06-25
Posts 47 |
The ending line was sort of comical to me, that would certainly be an interesting way to tell a significant other "Hey, let's get divorced, because it's over." Not that it's something I'd want to do, but that would probably be the nicest way to say it... "Our season has ended" |
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playing.with.crayons Member
since 2006-01-02
Posts 362Neverland |
Cliche can be all right. Admittedly not the "roses are red" or the life/strife ryhme, but still. Sometimes the best poetry comes from not thinking at all about structure or meter or cliche or what other people think. Ink from the heart can be magic. |
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